Saturday, June 8, 2013


It has been an interesting few days.  

I was under the impression that when I signed up for social media cites, that I could say whatever I want to. I could add photos, say my opinion, if I chose, complain everyday...if I wanted to.

I still believe this, but over the last several days, people, have tried to take that right away from me. At first I was pissed.  I retorted to a few comments, others I was flabbergasted over and have said nothing.

Sharing the scenario with several family members and friends, they too could not believe what had occurred. I'm still trying to decide how to respond, but in the meantime, I deactivated several of my social media cites and on others began blocking and unfollowing people.  On Facebook for instance I had 760+ friends.  


Who really has that many friends and who has time to keep up with all of their junk. How can you say that you are friends? As I went through all 760 so "friends" I often said..."Who is this?" or "I haven't seen or spoken to this person in "x" years!" Why do I have so many on here?  I began unfriending people and got down to 87!!!! And then I deactivated it.

I need a break from social media!

But why those 87?

I thought about who are my friends? Who knows me, not even all of those 87, so before I reactivate my account I will unfriend probably at least 25 more.  Granted I left the majority of my family, and I have contacts for teaching, the theatre, etc... 

But how many know me?

How many won't judge my posts?

How many would know if I put up a picture that looked like I was doing a line of "coke" would know it was a joke?

How many offer comfort and support rather than judgmental and discouragement?

If I was honest only about 10. 15 at most!

How many do I really want to know about?  Keep up with their kiddos and what they are up too?

Probably about 10...or 15 at most!

What really qualifies someone as a friend? The dictionary says this...


1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

On a whole I would say that those 760+ people were some form of an acquaintance. But there were some that I seriously did not know!

If someone is really my friend they know me, supports me.

No where in that definition do I see anything about judging or condemning!  No where do I see that it says that in order to be a friend I have to live up to the other persons expectations. That if for some reason I do something or say something that I don't like I'm no longer their friend.

That is exactly what I have experienced this past week!!!

How old am I? . . . . . . . . . . . 16?????

NO, I'm 40!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry if I don't do or say what you would like me to!
I'm sorry if how you thought I was I do something that contradicts that!

But I am free to be me!
I can do whatever I would like to do!
I do not have to answer to anyone but my God!

I do not answer to any human, rather they claim to be a friend or not!

I lived the majority of my life living for other people. Over half of my life I was worried what people would think or who they would tell or what they would say.  That my actions would jeopardize my job, my status, my character.

Jesus freed me of that too long ago!!! Thank you Jesus! 

I guess I apologize if I offend you.
I guess I apologize if I upset you.
I guess I apologize if I give you cause to worry about me.

But really?


I am who I am!

If that does any of the above mentioned scenarios...

That's your problem!

Not mine!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

From Complacency to Hopelessness

Last May, 2012, I wrote about complacency.

Over one year later, I feel as though that complacency has turned into hopelessness.

Is that the "normal"?

That if  you live in complacency too long it naturally turns into hopelessness???

I guess that would make sense.

I know that recent certain events, or the lack of certain events, has fueled this not sure.

But all I know now is that this is where I am currently.

Makes me wonder one year from now where I will be???