growing, learning and changing

For Girls!

2011-12-13T13:54:00.001-08:00

2011 Christmas Card

2011-12-07T17:51:00.001-08:00

Shiny Sparkly Ornaments Christmas

Turn family photos into personalized Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Have Ya Ever???

2011-12-05T18:19:00.001-08:00

Have there ever been days, weekends, moments where you want to run away?

Have there ever been pauses where you wonder...how did I get here, to this place?

Have there ever been times where you..(even though it makes you feel guilty) are ready to quit, give up?

I hope I'm not the only one out there, but at certain times, periods, or blinks of an eye I have felt this way.

I always hate feeling this way for many reasons, but the main nag is I would like to know if my mother ever felt this way.

Why?

Who knows?

So I don't feel so bad.

So I would know I'm "normal."

So I .....

But I can't.

And I hate it.

Over the past 19 years, I have learned that it is very difficult to think poorly or negatively about my mom. I believe one of the grief books that I attempted to read said that it is normal to idealize those who have died. We make them "perfect". Because of this, I can't imagine that my mom would have felt anything like the psychoticness that I feel on any given day!

That's that make me take a deep breath and sigh!

July 4, 19 Years Ago

2011-07-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

19 years ago today

my mom died

I was 19.

Today,

I have lived exactly the

same amount of years

that I had my mom

as without my mom.

Surreal.

Bizarre.

Weird.

You would think that after 19 years,

I wouldn't miss her as much.

Well...

that is NOT the case.

I miss her ALL the time.

Some for the same reasons that I have missed her for 19 years.

But more and more I'm realizing

that as I get older,

I miss her in ways that I never knew I would.

What to do with a teenage son?

How the manage teaching & home stuff?

Getting grey hairs?

How did she cope at 38?

And the list grows...

For the past 2 years,

I have spent this day with my brother in California.

But not this year.

Being with him made this day WAY easier.

Not because we ignored it,

not because we denied it,

we were together.

We, who went through this junk together,

were together.

We understand,

we don't have to say anything

to know that we know.

So to say that July 4th is NOT my favorite holiday

would be an understatement.

Teachings from Beth Moore!

2011-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't you know that Beth Moore would go to Lincoln when I didn't live there anymore! But oh well! I did know several of my friends went and I'm sure that they were so blessed. But for those of us who didn't get to go, here are some notes from her teaching that weekend, that I borrowed from here.

Beth Moore's lesson at Living Proof Live in Lincoln came out of a word study on "better." After looking at every instance of the word "better" in Scripture, Beth noticed a pattern that framed her message:

There is a "better" that is "bitter." And there is a "better" that is "better."

If you're like me, you've probably never thought of it that way. I tend to think that better is better is better is better. But Beth pointed out four different ways that better is actually bitter, then contrasted those points with five ways that better is better.

Stay with me. It gets really good.

I'm going to share all four "better is bitter" points today - and then I'm going to come back in a few days and elaborate on point number two. Because point number two? It read my mail.

1. Better is bitter when better is before (Exodus 14:12, Numbers 11:14, Numbers 14:3-4). This mentality creeps in when we decide that our best days are behind us. We think that job was better. Or that man was better. Or that time was better. We can't go forward because we keep looking back over our shoulders. Beth illustrated this point by examining the Israelites in Exodus 14: "it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness" (verse 12). If we're not careful, we stay trapped in the mentality of the past, failing to recognize that God has delivered us to a far better place.

2. Better is bitter when better is someone besides me (Esther 1:19, Galatians 5:25-26). We're going to constantly run into people who are better at whatever it is that we want to be good at, and we're threatened by that. We decide that so-and-so is better at parenting / parallel parking / leading Bible study / cooking / life-in-general, and bitterness takes root. It's like I heard Melanie say one time: we look at the blessings in another person's life and decide that it somehow takes away from what God is going to do in our lives. Beth used Philippians 2:7 to show that we need to empty ourselves of our vain conceit because it is EMPTY GLORY.

(I've got loads more to tell y'all about this point, so stay tuned.)

3. Better is bitter when better is the route I didn't take (Ecclesiastes, 1 Kings 19, Jonah). Some of us are living in constant regret, and our woe is me attitudes are killing us. Beth used the examples of Solomon, Elijah and Jonah to show how those regrets can affect us if we're not mindful to squelch them. Just because there have been disappointments in your life, you are not better off dead (see Jonah 4:8). Beth mentioned that if you really were better off dead, God would have already taken you home!

4. Better is bitter when better is what you should have known (Romans 7:24-8:3, Hebrews 12:18-24, 2 Corinthians 7:10). Sometimes we go one step further with regret (point #3) and move into "I should have known better, but..." or "I DID know better, but...." Beth spent a lot of time on this point, and the bottom line is that WE'VE GOT TO MOVE ON. We can't self-loathe for the rest of our lives. To be in the trap of "I knew better" is a body of death to us. At some point we have to decide if we're going to stand in front of Mt. Sinai or Mt. Zion. If there's a place in your life where you should have known better or did know better, God knows that you regret it. He knows. So let's move on from that thing. Psalm 30:5 says "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime," but we live like the the opposite is true. We're standing in front of Mt. Sinai when we need to move it on over to Mt. Zion.

Don't you wish you had been there??? I do! But looking forward to Beth's Living Proof Live in September!!!

Things that Make You Stop and Think

2011-06-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had a bizarre and surreal experience. I went in for my annual mammogram on Tuesday. It had been 2 years since my last, but they always had been fine. As I left, the tech said, "the doctor will look at these this afternoon and if he sees anything that looks suspicious we'll call, if not we'll send a letter."

At 4:50 on Tuesday evening they called. I didn't get the message until later, but they said to call in the morning. So yesterday morning I called and they said that there was a spot on the left side that the doctor wanted to get some more pictures of and an ultrasound. I scheduled the appointment and went in yesterday at 3:00.

Needless to say I didn't sleep very well Tuesday night and yesterday tried not to think about it.

I am great at denial and pretending that I'm fine and that I wasn't thinking about it. But the truth is I was thinking about it even as I pretended I wasn't! Oy! I realized I had been stressed about it because after 3:00 and after I found out everything was fine, I was exhausted! I hadn't done much the entire day, but the let down or the relief of things being ok, I realized I had been very tense.

Thankfully what they thought was a mass from the mammogram did NOT show up on the more detailed pictures and the ultrasound. As my dad said, "Hallelujah!"

But having this scenario come up in front of me, it made me stop and think....

"What will I do?"

"How will I handle treatment?"

"How did mom deal with this as her children were still 'young'?"

"What had she really gone through?"

"Will it kill me like it did mom?"

"How did mom take the news as she sat across the table from the doctor?"

If truth be told, every birthday that I have I get closer to the age she was when she was first diagnosed and eventually 18 months later died. Mom was 43 when it all began for her and 18 months later at 45 she died. I turn 39 in February. I feel it more every year. Not necessarily fear, but just a sense of where she was in her life when it changed so dramatically and forever!

I'm thankful that as of right now I'm ok! I still wonder if that is going to be something that becomes part of my story, but I guess we'll cross that bridge if we have to and it isn't right now, thank you Jesus!

11 This Past Weekend

2011-06-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Rayin Wynter Ann Stephens

This past weekend, my daughter, Rayin, would have been 11.

It's hard for me to imagine an 11 year old daughter, seeing as I

have 3 boys, only 1 who has been 11.

I'd like to think that we would have gone and gotten

manis and pedis and maybe a coffee too! Went to

the mall and bought a new outfit plus accessories too!

Actually, I have no idea. Sometimes I think of it more than others.

This year was better than some, but of course I still thought of her.

It's funny....I think I'm the only one.

Well maybe funny isn't the right word.

Sad I guess.

Many people don't even know that

I should have a daughter.

It's really not a conversation piece that is brought up much

and definitely a downer to bring up.

I have grown much in these 11 years, but I still have

no answers!

Sometimes I believe that that is the hardest part of

Rayin's death...not knowing why.

But I don't dwell on this

or else I would go crazy!

Instead, I choose to believe and know that

God is good

God is love

He knows more than I do

He loves me

she is in a much better place

and I will see her again one day.

Until then, I want to remember her and

wonder what it would be like to have

an 11 year old daughter,

even if I'm the only one!

18 Years!

2011-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

18 years ago this summer, there were two major life changing events that happened to me! I was 19 and so not ready for either event. These life altering events have been thrust into my face this week! I have not enjoyed looking at them head-on, I much rather like to ignore and deny.

But for what ever reason, this year I have been forced to remember the junk of the summer of '92. During the second week of school, my bridge in my mouth broke, again. I have been living with a broken bridge for about 8 years, but because of cost, I haven't fixed it. It was a side tooth and I became very good at hiding it with my tongue or lip. But this August, the 2 front teeth of my bridge broke off. This was different!!! I instantly had a lisp, no lip or tongue could hide this break. Needless to say, I freaked out! Not because I'm that vain, but because anytime something happens with my mouth, I'm transported back to the summer of '92 and the junk that remains there.

The summer between my freshmen and sophomore year in college, I went to a summer camp in Missouri to work as a counselor. Never having worked at summer camp before I was excited and my best friend, Mary, was going too! My mother was very sick though and I almost decided to stay home. But being the kind of mom she was, she told me that she wanted me to have a normal summer and that I should go. As soon as I got to camp I had a discussion with God and I told Him that if Mom died while I was gone, I would NEVER be able to live with myself if I wasn't there when that happened.

The first week was training and the second week was blind camp. Because of the extra needs, not every counselor had campers. Mary had campers and I didn't. During rest period one day, a bunch of workers were down on the lake skiing and having a break. Mary and I were spotting in the boat as others were skiing.

Robert wanted to try to slalom ski. As his knee broke water, he fell and the 75 foot ski rope came flying back at the boat. I remember everything turned into a slo-mo movie and I saw the rope coming towards me, but I couldn't move. The handle of the rope hit me in my mouth. Really unaware of what exactly happened, I turned to look at Mary and knew by the expression on her face that it wasn't good. All I felt was warmth and then began to taste blood. I leaned over the boat and saw 2 teeth fall into the water as well as fish swimming around eating my blood.

To make a long story short, I was taken to the local ER, but they sent me to Jefferson City to a larger hospital where I had surgery to repair my broken pallet. The handle had pushed my top pallet behind and lower than my bottom teeth. So the doctors rebuilt my pallet and stitched up where 3 teeth were missing. Thus began this long road of mouth issues with me!!!

Yesterday, my bridge was cut and for the first time in 18 years, I'm toothless again. I HATE seeing myself like this. I can't begin to describe what comes back into my mind! Because I have no gum and no teeth, my lip sinks in terribly. I have a temporary thing that I wear, but I can't eat with it or sleep with it, so I'm forced to feel and see it again. I thought I was ok with it, but deep down was again just denying and ignoring.

Really I am fine! I know that my accident was God's will. I know it 100%. After my stay in the hospital, my dad came down to Missouri and picked me up and I went home. 2 weeks later my mom died. I was home! God heard me and knew I wouldn't have been able to live with myself had I not been there, and I was! He made sure that I was home when she died. And the injury could have been so much worse. I could have lost an eye, I could have been killed if it had hit my nose, I could have been disfigured in a more visible way. I know all of this and believe it!

But I have to be honest....I'm so sick of my mouth crap! I'm tired of still 18 years later having to deal with it! I want it over! Unfortunately, the only way for this to never be an issue for me again cost around $35,000-$50,000. So, I continue to deal with it! I'm hoping that what we are doing now will last at least 5 years and I'm hoping that I will have it by July, but not holding me breath! It will come in when it's supposed to!

I haven't missed seeing this holey smile. I haven't missed feeling the weirdness in my mouth. But I must remember that this must too be a part of God's will and plan. He did provide funding for this latest part of this long journey, which I'm so thankful for! And I must remember it could be much worse! I must remember that He IS faithful!!!

As far as the 2nd event of that summer, my mom's death, I will address that at a later time.

Another Birthday!

2011-02-16T18:57:00.000-08:00

Ah yes! Another Birthday! It almost caught me off guard this year, not in a bad way, but just catching me by surprise. Over the last several years I have found myself not being appreciative of my birthdays. Not for the obvious, getting older thing, but for a few other reasons.

Every year I get older, I get closer to my mother's age when she died. I'm just a few years shy of that. And I focus on that instead of positiveness!

However, this week I chose to NOT think about that! I chose to be thankful for what I have and for another year. I chose to think of the wonderful gifts I have, my husband, my 3 boys, my students at school, their families who bless me and so much more. And it was a great birthday! A blessed birthday!

One thing that dawned on me though and I've been contemplating it all week. I have lived as many years without my mom as I have with her. I was blessed to have my mother in my life for 19 years. In July, it will be 19 years since she died. Not exactly sure why, but it almost took my breath away.

You may think that after 19 years I wouldn't think of her often, but I have found that the older I get, the more I think of her and think of what I would LOVE to ask her....

"When you taught Freshman English...."

"When you were 38...."

"When Kory or me....what did you do?"

"Did you ever feel like you were going crazy?"

And I could go on!

But I was thankful that this birthday I was able appreciate my birthday and the blessings that God has given me. That I could and can trust Him and know that whatever this next year brings, it will pass through His hands and He will be with me!

Been Awhile

2010-08-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true! It has been awhile for the 2 of you who follow me!

But truthfully, my fingers have been aching to type and get a few things outside of myself into this anonymous blog world. But I am without internet and have been for months now...hence the silence.

I hope soon that I will be able to share the stuff of the past few months.

I have been to Colorado!

To California!

and stuck here in HOT Texas too!

So maybe someday, when I'm not feeling like I'm going crazy and that I have too many things to do and too many people to be..oh yes and when I have internet, I will be able to get back to my blog!

Happy Easter-Good Friday

2010-04-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Loved this and borrowed it from here

She goes to visit Europe for the summer. She's kidnapped.

Sold into slavery, hope seems gone.

And it would have been...except for her father.

She sobs into his arms, "You came for me." His reply is stunningly simple, the only words a father who loves his daughter enough to die for her could say, "I told you I would."

My heart resonated with those words. I thought of a time I'd been bound by struggles daily draining the joy from my heart. And then, suddenly, it was over.

Rescued.

Redeemed.

After my sheer relief began to pass, questions bubbled to the surface of my soul. Yes, I felt grateful. But I also wondered, "Why didn't you answer my prayers? What were you doing? Where were you?"

And much like the father in Taken, it seemed He whispered to my heart, "All that time I was coming for you."

There's a lot more to the story than the scene I described. And much of it is about what the girl's father goes through on her behalf. It's astounding. Yet from her perspective, it seems nothing is happening.

We can feel the same. When life closes in, grows dark, and our fears drag us away it can seem as if we've been forgotten or even abandoned.

But let me assure you, God is already coming for you.

Right now. This very moment.

It's the real joy of Easter.

Jesus came for us.

He will come again.

And most of all, He is always coming for us right in the middle of our messy lives.

If a cross didn't stop Him then, we can be sure He will stop at nothing now. And His heart only needs two stunningly simple reasons to do so--

We are His daughters and He told us He would.

Get This Book Yet????

2010-03-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

A fabulous friend bought me this book for my birthday! I can't wait until summer so I can sit and hi-light it like crazy!

Make sure you turn off the music below before you hit play.

HIS Grace!!!

2010-02-26T09:40:00.000-08:00

"My grace is sufficient for you."

2 Corinthians 12:9

(From Deserts in the Storm)

The other day I was riding home after a hard day's work. I was very tired and deeply depressed, when quickly, and as suddenly as a lightning bolt, the above verse came to me. When I arrived home I looked it up in the Word and it finally came to me. MY. My reponse was to say, "Yes Lord, I should think it is!" Then I burst out laughing.

Until that time, I had never understood what the holy laughter of Abraham was. This verse seemed to make unbelief totally absurd. I pictured a thirsty little fish who was concerned about drinking the river dry, with Father River saying, "Drink away, little fish; my stream is sufficient for you." I also envisioned a mouse afraid of starving after seven years of plenty, when Joseph says to him, "Cheer up little mouse; my granaries are sufficient for you." Again, I imagined a man high on a mountain peak, saying to himself, "I breathe so many cubic feet of air every year, I am afraid I will deplete all the oxygen in the atmosphere." But the earth says to him, "Breathe away, filling your lungs forever; my atmosphere is sufficient for you."

O people of God, be great believers! Little faith will bring your souls to heaven, but great faith will bring heaven to your souls. Charles H. Spurgeon

His grace is great enough to meet the great things-

The crashing waves that overwhelm the soul,

The roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless,

The sudden storms beyond our life's control.

His grace is great enough to meet the small things-

The little pinprick troubles that annoy,

The insect worries, buzzing and persistent,

The squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.

-Annie Johnson Flint

There is always a large balance credited to our account in the bank of Heaven. It is waiting for us to exercise our faith to draw upon it. Draw heavily on God's resources.

Lord this is my prayer for myself and my family and friends! Find us faithful!!!!

Haiti

2010-02-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

Still so broken for this country and people.

What an amazing video!!!

*Make sure to mute the songs down at the bottom before playing!!!*

Uh..Duh...He Has Answered!!!!!

2010-02-12T12:22:00.000-08:00

Have you ever prayed a prayer and waited for some time for an answer?

Have you ever asked for something from God?

I have...

I do....

The other morning I had a "aha" moment, but really it is like a "duh" moment.

If you (the few who read this) don't know my story this may not make sense to you, but my husband and I have moved around the country ALOT!!!!

Finally, after what we thought would be our last move, we were done with the whole lets pick up and move thing!

We wanted to put down roots.

We wanted our kids to grow up with other kids.

We wanted consistency for ourselves but our children as well.

This is what we wanted and what I prayed for...not in those words exactly, but that is what I asked God for.

A place that we could call home for more than 24 months.

A place where my children would feel secure and constant.

Those kinds of things.

One morning this week after I dropped Kru off at pre-school, the Lord revealed to me that He has answered all of those petitions.

Kru is the same age that Kye was when we moved here.

Kru is attending the same pre-school that Kye went to a few years ago.

They know us...

We know them...

As I was driving away, it hit me....

GOD DID ANSWER!

HE has provided consistency.

HE has given us a home/town/community that has been constant for almost 5 years now.

Was it how I thought He would answer?

No.

Where I thought it would be?

No.

I asked Him for forgiveness right then.

Sorry Lord for not seeing all You do for me, just cause they don't look like I think they should.

God has His reasons!

His timing!

His purposes!

His ways!

Apparently for this season that means Texas for this mid-west girl!

So instead of trying to get out of Dodge.....

Lord, thank You for answering!

For giving my children stability!

For providing a job for my husband that is stable.

For giving us a community that knows us and that we know!

Why am I so quick to not see when things don't go the way I think they should go?

Thank You, Jesus, for revealing to me that You have answered!

You are good!

You are constant!

You are amazing!

I love you!!!!

Things I can't get Used to!

2009-11-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

So you would think that after being somewhere almost 5 years that I would be used to certain things.

Actually, I have gotten used to some...

wearing white after Labor Day (I used to post about that the 1st couple of years after living here in Texas, and this year, I DID IT! Crazy! Didn't realize until afterwards, but I did!)

wearing flip-flops year round!

I'm sure there is more, but I can't think of it right now.

Things that I have NOT gotten used to...

buying pansies the week of Thanksgiving

how it is greener now in November than in July & August

buying a Christmas tree while wearing shorts!

trying to get in the Christmas mood when it so does NOT feel close to Christmas!

I could go on, but the things noted above is what was really on my mind today.

So wish it was cold so I could get inspired to play Christmas music! Oh well! This is our 5th Christmas in Texas. You would think I would be used to it by now, but I guess for this mid-western girl, some things are just difficult to let go of!

Things to Ponder!

2009-11-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

This email appeared in my inbox this evening and I thought it was super good!

What do you think?

I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! !

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW..'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

HIS PRESENCE!!!!

2009-09-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a FABULOUS Bible study this semester that I could not do without, for sure!

Today we were talking about God's Presence! WOW! It was so good and powerful! I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW, I NEVER want to be without His Presence!!!

Making so many life applications, I could go on and on, but I won't.

One thing that really resonated with me is that God made us to be relational for sure!!! But He made us for the most relationship we have is one with Him!!!

What was presented was the God created everyone with a "with" need and with a "significance" need. Can you raise your hand if you agree?! I know I have both of these and I know when I have looked to satisfy those needs in the wrong places or people. An idea that was tossed out was when I confuse me "with" need with trying to fill it with other people instead of filling that "with" need with GOD, HIMSELF, it's idolatry.

Are friends idols?

Not all of them!

Can they be?

Yes!

When I make them more important than God....Yes!

Text after text, the teacher showed us in Old Testament and New several verses telling us God is with us!! Over and over, it gave me goosebumps! And ending by saying that WITH out God, we can do nothing!

I have struggled with friends and friendship from my arrival here in College Station going on 4 years now. I have begged the Lord for friends, praised Him for friends (near and far), questioned Him why friendships end or change, but today, in His goodness and glory, wasn't He all along protecting me from falling back into idolatrous relationships? Wasn't He teaching me and showing me that the relationship with Him is the only one I truly need? Is it that I just haven't been listening?

I don't think that 1 answer, answers all of those questions or situations, but man oh man! I know it does for some!

God is so good and loves me and you that He doesn't let anything get in HIS WAY...

what am I letting get in my (silly 'lil me) way???

God says.... BE PRESENT WITH ME, (fill in the blank with your name) kari, and I WILL BE PRESENT WITH YOU!!!!!

Whether you realize it or not, there is NOTHING like the Presence of God in your life!!!!

Lord, may I never want anything more than I want You and Your Presence with me!!! -Amen

What a Wonderful Wednesday!

2009-09-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was the first day of my women's fall Bible study.

I love the beginning of a study.

My book smells new...

I have my new pen, new hi-lighter, and felt-tipped pen ready for action.

I meet new friends and see old friends that I haven't seen since spring.

I anticipate all that God is going to teach me through the new study.

I tear-up as I open in prayer, because I KNOW that God is going to show up!

He's going to grow me

stretch me,

retrain me,

change me!

HALLELUJAH!!!

Bring it on!!!

In 1 hour's time...

I learn something new!

I hear something old that becomes afresh!

I look forward to this week's homework.

I look forward to meeting Christ on the pages of this study.

Of seeing what His Word has to say about my heart

and what it mean's to make it a dwelling place for HIM!

Wednesday afternoons are precious to me.

Sacred.

A MUST!

Thank You, Jesus for speaking through Your Word and through Bible study teachers.

Help me to be obedient to what it is that You will call me to this semester!

I love You!

Disturb us, Lord!

2009-09-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]

Can You be Content without being Happy???

2009-09-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

Somethin' I was mullin' over in the shower at 5:30 this morning.

What do you think?

Are contentment and happiness a must duo?

or can you be content without being happy?

I'm not quite sure what I think.

I think I know what my answer would be, but I'm not sure.

I don't think I want to be content without being happy, because I'm not sure that would really be, being content.

But if you really can be content without being happy, I still don't think I want to.

I would like to be happy in my contentment.

I would like to say that I'm content while feeling happy about it.

I would prefer to not just deal with being content and not being happy, because isn't that being complacent?

OYE!

Definitely too big of things to be pondering so early in the morning, I think!

So Much to Say and Update, but a MUST right now!

2009-09-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling with change in my church family!

For awhile!

Some weekends are ok, but others are not so ok!

It's me!

I KNOW!!!

But my flesh has been pretty stubborn lately!

And of course, like in all things, I want to run away!

Maybe it's the fact that I know we aren't leaving College Station

anytime soon, so church is the one thing I can "leave" and still remain in this town.

I rationalize my thoughts about finding a new body.

I convince myself that I'm justified in my feelings!

But then a friend who loves me more to tell me the truth than to be afraid of my reaction speaks truth to me!

I know she is telling me the truth,

but dangit!

Either because of my current sin or my past

I ask God

please confirm this AGAIN!

I know, I know!!!

I'm hard headed!

stupid

stubborn

And whew!

He did!

Of course

He did!

Church isn't about me!

I know that!

It's not about my boys!

i....k..n..o..w....th...at.....?

My God, is big enough!

My God will capture their hearts in HIS TIMING!!!!

In HIS WAY!

HE WILL CAPTURE THEM!!!!

Not a church,

not a program,

not a person!

This may not make sense for the 2 or 3 of you who actually read this,

but I had to get it out of myself!

Still need to process!

ALWAYS! need to pray!

Every Sunday, need to be humble and ready for GOD!!!!

not the sermon...

not the music...

not the program...

not the friends...

BUT...

HIM!

It's ALWAYS ABOUT HIM!!!

Thank You, Jesus for reminding me of that this morning!

And thank You for whopping me upside the head!

and thank You for being so patient with this stupid, but wanting so much to be in Your Will, child!

I do love You so much!

What Happened to My Tan! AKA Where Did the Summer Go!?!?!

2009-08-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

This is my 3rd summer here in Texas.

The first summer, we moved in the middle of it, and then just tried to get familiar with this new place.

Last summer, I hated the heat! But found that going to the pool everyday (well, almost everyday) made life cooler and easier.

This summer was pretty much like last year, but we began going to the pool with friends in April. Needless to say, I had a base by the time real summer rolled around!

I haven't been this tan since the summer in between my freshman and sophomore year in HIGH SCHOOL! A LOOONG time ago!!

I really have no pictures to prove it because I'm always the one behind the camera, but not lying.. I was dark!

I love being tan!

Call me vain,

but,

I think I look better tan,

I know I feel better tan,

and my fat looks better tan!

But...

my tan is almost gone!!! :O(

It has been 2 weeks since we have been poolside and I am paling by the minute!

I wish I could afford to fake bake and keep this brown skin year round, but I have 3 kiddos who pretty much take all of my $$$ ;O)

So...

the summer is over! :O(

my tan is pretty much gone! :O(

woe is me!

July Happenings

2009-07-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while since my last post...

things have been busy!!!

To go back to the beginning of the month,

Darrin and I went out to California to visit

my brother and his wife. We had not been on

a trip ALONE (without children) for nearly 12 years.

We thought it was time!

And it was!!!

I love my children!!!

But time with just my husband is important!

And we don't do it often enough, for sure!!!!

We had a great time with Kory and Shelley!

I LOVE California and want to move there!

The weather alone is reason enough for me!!!!

Seriously!

We went to the beach, did San Francisco, ate out

a bunch! I slept in late! Read!!! And just simply

RELAXED!!!!

It was refreshing, rejuvenating and needed.

It was a blessing!

Here are a few shots from our trip!

Shelley and me in Santa Cruz

The farmer's market in Campbell

Sea Lions in Santa Cruz

A stop on the 17 Mile Dr, headed to Carmel

Headed to the beach in Santa Cruz to boogie board!

Obviously, San Francisco!

It was good for us! It was so good to be with Kory and Shelley! I miss family! Kory and Darrin are more like brothers than brother-in-laws! And I have to tell you that Shelley feels more like a sister to me than a sister-in-law. I so wished we lived closer, but maybe one day!!!

We're going back at Christmas, but we ARE taking the boys with us! They will love California just as much as we did!

What a wonderful trip!!!

Guard Your Heart!

2009-07-02T06:42:00.001-07:00

Received an email from a family friend who spent time with their teenagers in family worship recently over this...

I thought it was good!

We started by opening up an online article about the Governor of South Carolina, and reading a few excerpts from the Governors illicit love letters. The Governor says: ...In all my life I have lived by a code of honor and at a variety of levels know I have crossed lines I would have never imagined. I wish I could wish it away, but this soul-mate feel I alluded too is real... We talked about what it means to have a code of honor, to cross lines, and to have a soul-mate. We talked about the Governor's wife and his children and what they must be feeling now.

We read an online comment from a reader:
Ceaser wrote on 06/26/2009 07:26:20 PM: Anyone who is dating or new in a relationship, or in this case having an affair, knows that person is new and exciting. It's easy to spew all this mush and gush when you are trying to pursue someone and wanting to impress them. You always want what you can't have, but believe me, if they were to be together, it would get old just like anything else. In these letters, they are in a bubble. They don't have to share a mortgage, raise kids and deal with day to day issues. The person represents freedom, excitement and no ties or boundaries. It's a fake and pretentious fantasy world that they convince themselves is real and will last forever and be perfect. He only thinks his wife isn't what he needs because they aren't in that "honeymoon phase" any longer. Well, in any established relationship, who is? Romance is necessary, but I'd rather be in a "real" relationship than a pretentious one.

We watched the video of the Governor's humiliating news conference. We listened to Steve Green sing Guard Your Heart, while the lyrics flashed on the screen. The teenagers asked a lot of questions.

Guard Your Heart by Steve Green
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see

What appears to be harmless glance?
Can turn to romance
And homes are divided
Feelings that should never have been
Awakened within
Tearing the heart in two
Listen, I beg of you

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
Don’t trade it for treasure
Don’t give it away

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
As a payment for pleasure
It’s high price to pay

For a soul that remains sincere with conscience clear
Guard your Heart

The human heart is easily swayed
And often betrayed at the hand of emotion
You dare not leave the outcome to chance
You must choose in advance
Or live with the agony
Such needless tragedy

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
Don’t trade it for treasure
Don’t give it away

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
As a payment for pleasure
It’s high price to pay

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
Don’t trade it for treasure
Don’t give it away

Guard your Heart
Guard your Heart
As a payment for pleasure
It’s high price to pay

For a soul that remains sincere with conscience clear
Guard your Heart

For a soul that remains sincere with conscience clear
Guard your Heart

God's Word - Alive and Active!!!

2009-07-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

Today, while I was doing my Bible study, an assignment was given to spend tome slowly reading a particular Psalm. I love the book of Psalms and always can find God there to speak to me no matter what is going on in my now.

The Psalm I read was so perfect (because that's just how God rolls!)

I wanted to share this with the few who actually read this!

My prayer is that you would hear God speaking to you, no matter where you are in your now!!

If you're....

going through a difficult time Psalm 116
going through a season of joy & thanksgiving Psalm 145
needing confession & restoration Psalm 51
struggling with identity & self-worth Psalm 139
in a time of crisis Psalm 143
needing wisdom & instruction Psalm 119
longing for intimacy with God Psalm 42
wanting wisdom & encouragement Psalm 37
wanting to be reminded of God's greatness & power Psalm 18

As you are reading, let God talk to you!

What does He say?

Pray these words to Him, but also let Him speak to you through the words!!

I hope this blesses you as it did me!

Jon & Kate +8

2009-06-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

I have not watched Jon & Kate +8.

I have caught it a couple of times,

but I wasn't a devote fan.

But, I did watch the season premiere,

and was saddened because it sounded

as if they were already separated and

thinking of divorce.

And then I didn't watch it again.

I know too many going through this

already in my life to need to watch it on TV.

I'm sad for all of them (my friends & Jon & Kate)

I found this letter that was written to Kate.

I think it is great!

It is Biblical!

It is tough!

It is wise!

It is truth!!!

Don't know why I wanted to post about it, but I did.

I think we MUST look different than the world!

I know we MUST act differently than the world!

She Would Have Been 9

2009-06-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

Rayin, my little girl, would have been 9

this Father's Day.

I don't know if I have ever blogged about her.

I should do it more often!

For some reason this year is

really hitting me and I'm

not sure why.

I suppose I don't have to have a real reason,

some years are just more difficult!

So I have been sad and moody today.

I called a girlfriend and cried

on her shoulder for a bit!

Someday, not today, I will write about

her and tell you the little there is to tell.

I'm just so ready for Heaven when I will

be able to see Rayin and my mom again!

But for now,

remembering my little girl,

Rayin Wynter Ann Stephens

6/18/00

VBS!!!

2009-06-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

There is some to update, it has been awhile since my last post!

School got out, so my days are spent with 3 energetic boys and

most days we are at the pool!

But last week was VBS!!!

Our theme was Science Smash!

I taught the younger Bible Study!

I'm waiting for better pictures from others, but I wanted to

post a few of my room where I taught and of me!

WARNING!!!

I was a crazy scientist who loved Einstein and tried

to make my hair like his!!!

Professor Fern AlDiHyde!!!!

I had a great, exhausting, wonderful week of VBS!!!

I love telling children about Jesus and His love for them!!!

I love worshipping and jumping around praisin' Jesus!!!

On a Day Like Today

2009-05-25T09:37:00.001-07:00

On a day like today, I wish I was somewhere else...

Whether it be a memory,

a person,

a song,

a smell...

in my mind I am somewhere else.

I just spent an entire 7 days with my brother and sister-n-law.

Can't tell you when the last time that happened.

It hasn't been since we were both single and there were no kids running around.

I s'pose my reminiscent mood has to do because of that.

It was SO GOOD to have him around!!!

I cried when he left.

On a day like today, I want to go back to an easier time.

a more innocent time

a time

where my mom was

when I was the kid that was being taken care of

On a day like today, I find my mind on reverse in fast motion

going back to when I was in school

looking forward to summer.

On a day like today, I am thankful for memories.

for good memories

for songs that make me remember

for smells that I will never forget

and for precious family

whether they are here on earth with me or in Heaven.

I Need Chiseling! How Bout You???

2009-05-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Profound!
Don't forget to turn off the music below
before you push play!

2009-05-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful way to spend $7!!!

That would be 2 trips to Starbucks!!!

You can get some free music from FFH

and a free Tshirt for helping children!!

Please go here and be a part of my

Mocha Club!!!

Thanks!!!!

http://mochaclub.org/joinme/KariStephens

Mommy Make Over

2009-05-08T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today at school was Mommy Make Over! It was a pre-Mother's Day gift for us!

I arrived this afternoon and was welcomed into a transformed cafeteria by dimmed lights, soft music and a special chair just for me. After waiting just a little while, my stylist, Kye, arrived and handed me a "menu" to choose what procedure I would undergo.

Hair

Makeup

Massage

Manicure

Pedicure

I had it all!!!

He was so excited and super proud!

Wanting me to look my best, I received several rounds of blush, lipstick and eye shadow.

My toenails have never felt so wet before! ;)

Me and My Stylist

My Manicure in lovely purple

My Pedicure

My Makeup! Had some great eyes, goin' on!!! =)

When we were through, he presented me with a card with his toothless picture on the front of it and inside were a few things that he thought of about me. That is what follows:

My mother is the most wonderful Mom in the whole world!

She's as pretty as "a diamond."

She weighs "14" pounds.

She is "6 feet" tall.

Her favorite food is "soup."

Her favorite T.V. show is "Dancing with the Stars."

When my mom was little, she used to "pick flowers."

I think my mom looks funny when she "jumps on the trampoline."

I know my mom is angry when "I hurt Kru."

I wish my Mom and I could "go to the zoo" together everyday.

I wouldn't trade my mom for "my DS."

How sweet! And humorous!!!!!

May Memory Verse

2009-05-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

"Though you have not seen Him,

you love Him; and even though

you do not see Him now, you

believe in Him and are filled

with an inexpressible and

glorious joy."

1 Peter 1:8

Compassion International

2009-04-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have heard a ton about Compassion International

A friend of mine, Jen Bacak, put on a 5K/10K run raising funds for Compassion.

And a few of the blogs that I read often, are currently in India, Calcutta to be exact, on a trip to minister to the children over there, but learn more about the organization.

There posts have been meaningful, profound and touching to say the least!

I have cousins, who have been sponsoring children for over 10 years now! They have 1 per child for each child of their own. In fact, they recently made the journey overseas and actually met their sponsored children in person! Amazing! How neat is that!!!

I have wanted to do this for a LONG time, and have yet to do so!!

In college, a girlfriend and I sponsored a little boy for a semester. I so wish I still did!

As believers, we are to take care of the orphans, widows, poor.

How am I doing at that????

Terrible!!!

I want to be better!!!!

I'm not going to be foolish and begin with 3 children right away, but want to begin by sponsoring 1 and growing to 3!!!

To sponsor a child, you can click here.

For $32 a month, you can change a child's life!!!

Check out their blog and read the stories.

When I get my child's info, I will post a picture!! It will be several weeks, but I will keep you updated!!!

Seeing Me Differently

2009-04-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

That's me, really...

Isn't it creepy, kind of???

It's this weird x-ray that my dentist took.

The shadow of my face is what's weird.

I have major mouth issues.

More so than I realized, actually.

My bite is abnormal.

Not sure if it has always been this way,

or if the accident left me this way,

or if I was and the accident made it worse,

but lets just say I have mouth issues.

Dr. Scasta is wonderful and wanted to take

my x-rays and impressions with him to

Chicago next week so his mentor can

look at them and tell us anything different.

Chances are nothing can really fix the problem,

other than oral surgery where they would remove

a section of bone from my jaw to change my bite.

He isn't recommending that!!!!

He has ideas of what we can try and see if he can

manipulate my bite by training my muscles in my

face which would retrain my bite.

We aren't there yet,

the price tag is gynormous!!!!!

Do you see how my front teeth are sticking out

almost straight? You can't tell that by

looking at me, but because I have no bone,

no palet, that's how the fake teeth are.

Never understood that!!!

It has been 15 years since the accident!

But I thought that this x-ray was cool and weird

and not everyone has one of these! =)

So be jealous! ;)

I am a Runner...just of Another Kind

2009-04-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

A ton of my friends run.

Some are brand new to running.

Others have run a while.

And still others have run since college.

I HATE running!!!!

Could I run?

Yes, but I HATE running!

But tonight, I realized that I am a runner

Just not the typical runner that runs for exercise.

I like to flee.

Get away!

Live in denial!

Run!!!

My running is a coping mechanism that I have possessed for probably longer than I even realize. It would be interesting to see if I could pinpoint when this began, but maybe I'll save that for a separate post!

Honestly, I sincerely thought that this habitual pattern was gone from my life!

But man oh man, it swept over me faster than you can blink your eye!

I want to run so bad it actually hurts!

I want to go far far away!

I think there are a few healthy situations in which running is a good thing to do....

when you are going to be hurt physically....

when you are in danger....

uh, hello run!

So what about when you may be hurt emotionally?

when you are in emotional danger?

is running from that ok then?

This may seem all over the place, but this is a post of processing, I s'pose.

So what happens when something comes up OUT OF THE BLUE!?? You didn't know it was going to happen, you couldn't plan for it, no way of knowing! So what's the first thing I want to do....

RUN!!!!

My verse for this month could not be more appropriate. That is exactly what I did this morning... cried out to the Lord...in my anguish!

Realistically, I can't run away, no matter how great the urge is within me.

And I must only run to Him! Into His arms!

Even if I can't see how this ends up,

Even if I can't understand why this is happening,

No matter what I may be thinking, feeling,

The Lord is my helper!

I MUST TRUST HIM!!!!!

I MUST RUN TO HIM!!!!

(and I HAVE to repeat that OVER & OVER AGAIN!!!!!)

Mid-April Scripture Memory Verse

2009-04-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

"In my anguish I cried out to the LORD

and He answered me by

setting me free.

The LORD is with me;

I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

The LORD is with me;

He is my Helper.

I will look in triumph on my enemies."

Psalm 118:5-7

Things that Make You Go Hmmmm........

2009-04-14T19:46:00.001-07:00

How is it that some days are like this...=>

and other days are like this...

??????????????????????

Seriously!

What is it that really makes the difference?

My quiet time with God?

Yes, that is important!

My heart?

Also, very important!

What time my children went to bed the night before?

What time I went to bed the night before?

I believe all of those things and more affect my day.

But I really think I need to take notes of what specifically happens on "good" days.

Today was a "good" day.

Can't put my finger on 1 specific thing that made it a good one, but it makes me pray and hope tomorrow will be another one!

It did help that the weather was so beautiful!

Warm with a nice breeze - Spring!

It also helped that Kru and I could take an hour or so and go to the park and swing!

It also helped that I was very aware of being present in the moment!

I didn't spend as much time on the computer!

I spoke in a gentle yet firm (when needed) voice.

I sometimes like to ignore how much I affect my home, my husband, my children!

But, if I'm wanting to be the woman God created me to be, I can NOT ignore that!

"Let the words of my mouth

and the meditations of my heart

be acceptable in Thy sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14

I must, need, have to be aware of what I am saying, thinking, meditating on! And it MUST be the Lord and pleasing Him and being obedient to Him.

I am so selfish and get so caught up in making sure I'm taken care of! That is sin!!!

So....

I must seek Jesus daily, hour to hour, moment to moment if need be, to be the woman He created me to be! The woman that He put here in this place for this moment. And to really there! Awake! Involved!

I never did post my scripture memory verse for the beginning of April, but it goes well with this post.

It was Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction."

This HAS to Make You Smile!!!

2009-04-13T16:24:00.001-07:00

Even if you don't appreciate The Sound of Music, this HAS to put a smile on your face!!!!

Don't forget to go down and turn off the music before beginning the video!!

Enjoy! =)

Who Wants to Come????

2009-03-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

IWI Worship Conference
In 2004, I had the privilege of attending a phenomenal worship conference in Dallas Texas.

I was living in Nebraska at the time and a close friend and I drove down for a week of worship and training! It changed my life FOREVER!!!!!

Since then, the conference has down-sized a bit, but is still a powerful experience!

So who wants to meet me in Dallas in July????

If we split a room 2, 3 or 4 ways it won't be too $$$!

I WANT TO GO!!!!! But not alone!!!!

So...

who's in???? =)

go here for more details!

Soup Suppers at the Stephens'

2009-03-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

Quite a while ago I started somethin' at our house.

Soup Supper at the Stephens'.

We used to meet the 1st Saturday night of the month, right after church.

But the we switched to the 1st Friday night of the month.

It began with a few 5-8 college aged girls and some of Dakota's friends.

It then expanded to Kathryn and her boys...

then the Freemans started coming....

And then Jordan braved the highly female populated supper.

Over the past months, I have attempted to invite more boys and a few

more families.

Last night, we had to switch to the last Friday night of the month

AND...

IT WAS SO GREAT!!!!!!!

We had a TON of people here! I mean a ton!!!

We haven't ever had that many people over in our little house before!

Here are a couple of shots that Darrin took with his iphone.

The living room was packed!

Yea, that's the kitchen, packed full!

And so was the table!!! You just can't see it all!

I love these people!

They make me smile!

Make me happy!

My life would be empty without them!

I LOVE SOUP SUPPER NIGHT!!!!

My boys look forward to it,

I look forward to it!

And there were so many new faces last night!!!

Thank you all for coming and eating with us!

I can't wait to see you next month!!!!

Mid-March Scripture Memory Verse

2009-03-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

"Do not repay evil for evil

or insult with insult, but

with blessing,

because

to this

YOU

were called

so that

You

may inherit

a blessing."

1 Peter 3:9

Swagbucks, what!?!

2009-03-05T08:57:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's the thing.

I really don't understand this, but

you should do it!

Apparently, if you go here and begin

using this browser for your searches,

you earn real $$$ that can be used at

the GAP, or Macys or airlines.

These friends of mine, really know more

about it! Go here and here to read more.

So just do it!

(for the entire 3 of you who read this blog) =)

I already have 5 swagbucks! Don't know

what I'll do with them, but whatever!

March 1 Memory Verse

2009-03-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

"So do not throw away your confidence;

it will be richly rewarded,

you need to persevere

so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what He has promised."

Hebrews 10:35-36

Easter Idea

2009-03-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

This is a great idea for Easter and I wanted to post it early so that anyone who wants it could use it!

RESURRECTION COOKIES!

Read the whole recipe before beginning...try to do together Saturday night before Easter Sunday.

Preheat oven to 300 degrees

Ingredients:

1 cup whole pecans

3 egg whites

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. vinegar

1 pinch of salt

You need:

Mixing bowl

Wooden spoon

Bible

Zipper baggie

Waxed paper

Cookie Sheet

Tape

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3

Let children smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to the vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 & John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 11-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 & John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by tsp onto waxed paper-covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matt. 27:65-66

Put cookie sheet in the oven. Close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matt. 27:65-66

Go to bed! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22

On Resurrection Morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie! Notice the cracked surface and take a bit. The cookies are hollow! On the first Resurrection Day, Jesus; followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matt. 28:1-9

HE HAS RISEN! HALLELUJAH!!!!

One Week Later

2009-02-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

It has been a week since my birthday.

And I have to be honest,

this was probably one of the best birthdays

I have ever had!

Seriously!

My husband did a fabulous job of making the

entire day, special and full of surprise.

2 weeks before my birthday, he had emailed

a couple of my girlfriends to organize a

surprise party on Friday night.

So this time last week I was eating at Bostons,

with 15 of my fabulous girlfriends!!!

Friday was a day of pleasure and being pampered.

Darrin came home at lunch and stayed with Kru

while I went and got my nails done and a pedicure too!

I even splurged and got the fancy flower on my big toe!

Beautiful! (thanks Kory and Shelley!)

I almost fell asleep in the massage chair!

Wow! What a wonderful relaxing experience!

I believe all moms should have these weekly! =)

I would if I could!

When I arrived home, it was almost time to pick up

Kye from school, so we loaded into the van and headed

to pick up Kye, or so I thought!

When we began heading the opposite way of the school,

I was confused.

Darrin pulls up to a salon and tells me, "Get out, you have

a 3:00 appointment for a color and cut."

Seriously, he made me a hair appointment!

Handed me a couple of gift certificates and he was off!

"Call me when you are done."

When you haven't had your hair cut or professionally colored

in a year, literally, it takes a while to do what needs to be done!

So finally, I called Darrin and he picked me up around 6:00.

"We're going to go eat at Bostons."

I love Bostons, so I was thrilled.

We pulled into the parking lot and he told me he was going to

drop me off and park in the back. Thinking nothing of it, I said,

ok and got out of the car. I told the boys to come on and that was

when Darrin said, "Nope, see ya later."

"What?"

"Just walk around, someone will find you." and he pulls away.

I walked into the restaurant and that's when I saw the balloons,

heard the SURPRISE! and saw most of my favorite faces in

College Station waiting for me!

I almost started crying, but someone told me how cute my hair

looked and I was like, "I KNOW!!!!" =) so I got over the tears!

I received some special gifts, including a wonderful cross for my wall,

a Bible that is super special and a scripture paper weight and more!

I love Bostons, I love my girlfriends, and I love girlfriend time!

It was GREAT!!!! yummo food, fabo friends, and lots of talking!

what more can a girl ask for? oh to have her hair freshly done,

her fake nails on and a pedi too???

Oh wait, I had that too!!!!!!

It was a wonderful day!!!

Thanks Darr for making this birthday so great! And thanks girls

for being a huge part of it!

And can I just tell ya, on Valentines Day, my real birthday, my guys

got me roses and a bracelet too!

I was spoiled this year!

The only thing I am sad about, not 1 picture! =( and if you know me,

you know how important pics are, but will be keeping this one alive

through memory for a long time!!!

Another Piercing!

2009-02-16T19:04:00.001-08:00

I have been wanting another piercing for quite some time.

I actually would love to get my nose pierced,

but Darrin isn't too keen on the idea.

So....

I decided to pierce my ear.

High up in the cartilage.

I have wanted to kind of for a while,

but this past week with my birthday and all

I began thinking about it more seriously.

(I will blog about my wonderful birthday soon!)

Tonight I was with my friends, Cindy and Sydni!

And guess what????

We went and did it!

Asking the pro's, Cindy, advice!

"Where do I want it?"

Getting ready....

Take a deep breath....

and...

pressure...

(but totally not like epideral pressure!!!!)

Over in a second and not bad at all!!!!

Isn't it sooo cute!?!

And isn't it so me!?!

I LOVE IT!!!!!

Mid-February Scripture Memory Verse

2009-02-16T07:22:00.001-08:00

"Repent, then, and turn to God,

so that your sins may be wiped out,

that times of refreshing may

come from the Lord."

Acts 3:19

Birthdays

2009-02-12T11:35:00.000-08:00

I will have to begin by saying sorry, this post may be a bit random.

Somehow, blogging enables me to process somethings that get stuck inside my head. If I can write it down, maybe it will make a little more sense, and sometimes maybe not. But as the Lord continues to grow me, show me, change me, I am thankful for this medium to use to work it out.

My birthday is in a few days. And whether or not I act like it, I hate my birthday. I casually blow if off anytime it is mentioned; I ignore the calendar; I pretend that it is only Valentines Day and not another birthday.

I haven't always felt this way toward my birthday. In fact, I remember vividly loving my birthday. Earlier in life, having sleep overs and friends over to play games and eat cake! Great times. The junior high sleep overs with all of their drama! =) and then in high school with a special someone to celebrate it with.

On my 16th birthday, my mom surprised me in a school assembly with balloons and 16 "cookie" roses, yes they were cookies! She always made things extra special. I was embarrassed but loved it! She knew me so well!

I can't put my finger on when I began hating my birthday. I would suppose it was sometime after becoming a mom and inching close to 30 and then past 30.

I remember feeling the same thing last year and funny how that seems like yesterday and not an entire year ago! Seriously, time is going faster and faster! Last year I flirted with this concept and this year I'm for sure!

I believe I have figured out why I hate my birthday:

With every birthday that comes it is 1 year closer to the age my mom was when she died.

I know it's stupid, but I'm convinced that that is it.

A sweet friend of mine was at my house today sharing about her dad and his death. He was only 53. I said, "That is so young." And it is...

My mom was 42.

So young!

Not too far off from where I am.

Crazy how powerful the mind is! That is why it is so important to capture every thought and make sure it aligns with scripture and give it to God and ask Him to fill your mind with His thoughts!

So... not super excited about another birthday.

about finding more and more gray hairs!

Ouch!!!

2009-02-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday's sermon was on love

the agape kind

the 1 Corinthians 13 kind

ooouuuccchhhh!!!!!

Yup! Ouch!

Not ouch, make me mad

Ouch, like, I am not doing so well with LOVE, CONVICTION!!!!

Not that any of us can do any of the above mentioned without Jesus!!!

I've heard it said many times, "Our ability to love others is from the overflow of our love relationship with Jesus."

OUCH!

Truth hurts, ya know! =)

My birthday is on a date surrounded by love.

In fact, on any given year, I really don't like having my birthday on Valentines Day.

But that is not what this post is about!

We sang of Christ's love for us and that He loved us before we ever loved Him.

(Do I love family, friends, neighbors, enemies before they love me? OR do I wait for them to show me love before I love them?)

It was a good cleansing service.

But man,

I HAVE SO FAR TO GO!!!!!!

am I patient? the ability to be wrong without retaliating

am I kind? considerate of other's feelings, useful, do good

not often enough

do I boast? bragging making other's think of my strengths

some

am I proud? arrogant - making it all about me

too often

am I rude? inappropriate tones, facial expressions

Jesus help me, way TOO often!!

am I selfish? do what is best for me, want my way

yes

do I get angry? quick tempered, agitated easily

YES, and I don't even know why!

do I keep a list of the wrong things done to me?

sometimes

do I always protect?

not always

do I always trust?

not always

do I give up?

sometimes

am I always hopeful?

not always

am I perseverant?

sometimes

LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!

LOVE NEVER ENDS!!!!

WOOFTA!!!!

OI!!!!!!!

I got me a long way to go!!!

I have much to learn about how much God loves me

and

I have much to learn about how I need to love others.

But thankfully, I'm not doing it alone or in my own strength!!!!

I pray that I will allow the Lord to continue to do a work in me and mold me and grow me into who He wants me to be! Jesus I need You help!!!!

February's Memory Verse

2009-02-01T14:27:00.000-08:00

Psalm 90:16-17

"Show me, your servant,

the wonderful things you do;

show your greatness to my children.

And let the beauty of the Lord

be upon us:

give strength to the work of our hands."

Random Funniness!!!! Have a Great Weekend!

2009-01-30T12:24:00.000-08:00

Turn off the music below!!!
Smile, it's Friday Funnies!

Scripture Memory

2009-01-27T12:24:00.000-08:00

My children are in AWANA, Kru is a first year Cubbie!!!

They instill in my children the importance of hiding God's Word in their hearts.

However, I don't!

Beth Moore challenged her blog readers to memorizing scripture in 2009.

2 a month

I thought, I could do that, I should do that, I NEED to do that.

She has over 3000 women signing in on the 1st and 15th of each month with their verse or verses that they are memorizing each month.

I am participating, but not logging in on Beth's blog.

In January, I began with

Psalm 13:5-6

"But I trust in Your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me."

Then on the 15th I switched to:

Phillippians 2:3

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourself."

I thoroughly enjoyed rewriting the Psalms from the Stepping Up study last semester. So I won't be rewriting these passages, I will be meditating on them and at least posting them!

Where to Begin???

2009-01-21T12:14:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of Bible study in a new semester! All I can say is WOW!!! Look out!!! Beth Moore's newest study is this one! She filled it last year and it became available for purchase in November '08.

From the moment the video begins, from intros and exits filled on location in Washington DC in front of the White House, this study it so pivotal & poignant "FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS"! She had no idea who was going to be inaugurated yesterday, or who the Secretary of State would be a year ago, and everything she said was so perfect for what is going on today. Amazing! God is perfect and so is His timing!

I can't wait to see what He is going to reveal to me through this study! I believe with all my heart that there is big stuff ahead for me to learn and change! I know that God has something important for me to learn about my destiny through this study! I also know that God is going to do something new through this study too!

For a while now, I have been feeling not quite sure what God was doing. The direction that He had last told me to go suddenly got blocked. A little confused, but understanding that this was His thing, I assumed that He had something else for me to do instead. Still don't know what that is, but I know I will when He is ready for me to know!

The times I remember feeling this way and being in this place have always resulted in major life changes, not like moving or even changing jobs (although that has happened once before), I'm talking about dealing with my stuff, freeing me, teaching me something new, showing Himself to me in a different way.

So.... I'm full of anxious anticipation, hope, in what God is going to reveal, teach, show, change, grow me! I will try to write about it, but who knows now, we will have to wait and see! So.... here we go, into the book of Esther, that doesn't use the name of God once, but as Beth said, "He is all over it, because it is His Word!"

The Lord's Supper

2009-01-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

Last night at church, was the Lord's Supper.

I have grown very fond of this act.

The Lord has continued to teach

me more about this act.

It isn't something that we do

because it is tradition, in the Bible,

or because I always have.

We do it to remember the blood sacrifice

that Christ, paid for us!

We do it to humble ourselves before

our Father!

We do it to remind us that ALL

of our sins, ALL, in the past and

the ones I will commit in the future,

ARE FORGIVEN!!!

It was good!

It's always needed!

And it is always emotional!

God is good!!!

God is amazing!!!

He saved a wretch like me!

Unbelievably merciful & loving!!!

Thank You, Jesus

A Silver Lining

2009-01-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

On my way home from taking the boys to school this morning, there was a gorgeous cloud with the sun shining behind it making a silver lining. It was far more beautiful than this picture, but this is what I could find on line. Had I had my camera with me, I would have taken a picture, but would have caused an accident. :) So this will have to do.

I'm not sure why I love clouds with silver linings so well. I love how bright it is. I love how I can hardly look at the silver because it is so bright. I love how the sunlight streams through like a light from a lighthouse. When I see clouds like this it makes me think of how bright and fabulous our Lord will be! I feel as though it is a foreshadow of the Lord when I see the brightness. Oh what will it be like to cast our eyes upon our Saviour!?!

I suppose you could also say it makes me feel a little homesick! If that makes sense at all?

I just finished reading The Shack. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. In fact, I now want to go back and underline and process certain parts of the book. Is it fiction? Yes. Can I still find truths in this book? I can, yes. Just like reading a Francine Rivers book, it is fiction but there is truth as well. It made me yearn to be in the presence of the Lord. It made me think about how much God knows me, understands me, and loves me! Do I believe that the events in the book actually happened? I have no idea, but reading this fictional book made me meditate on My God and His love for me. Anything that causes me to dwell on My Heavenly Father and His love for me is a good thing, in my opinion.

Seeing the cloud on my way home this morning felt like a good morning kiss from my Heavenly Papa! :>) Thank you Lord for Your goodness, kindness, love and mercies which are new every morning!

Happy New Year - A Love Letter From God to You

2009-01-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

My Love,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you (psalm 139:3), and I love you (John 15:9). You were created in My image (Genesis 1:27). You were formed by My hands (Psalm 139:13). I cradled you when you were born (Psalm 22:10). I have called you be name (Isaiah 43:1), and you are perfect in My eyes (Solomon 4:7).

I have created so much to make you happy (Genesis 1:28, 29), because I love you deeply and hopelessly (Solomon 4:9). I made the sun, the moon, the stars, wildflowers and songbirds (Genesis 1:1-24), and every day I am right there with you. You are never out of My sight (Psalm 139:3-10).

I think you are incredibly beautiful (Solomon 2:14)! When you are tired, I'll give you rest for your soul (Matthew 11:29). I will caress you with My gentle ways (Psalm 18:35) and always fo what is best for you (Psalm 46:6-9). If you make a mess of you life, I will get you out of it (Romans 3:23, 24). When your life is a living hell, I'll rescue you (Psalm 30:3). Then you will be able to come out from under that heavy, black cloud (Romans 8:1). I will comfort you and turn your sadness into joy (Jeremiah 31:13)! I will give you a new clean life (Psalm 51:10_, and I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21:4)!

When your lonely, I'll hug you (Psalm 68:6). When you're tired, I'll refresh you (Jeremiah 31:25). When you're weak, I'll be strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). When you are drowning, I'll lift you up (Isaiah 43:2). I'll carry you in My arms and hold you close to My heart ( Isaiah 40:11). I will heal your broken heart, bandage your wounds (Psalm 147:3) and help you through every hard time (Isaiah 41:13). Have faith in Me and I will make you well (Matthew 9:22). Other lovers may forget you, but I will always tell you the truth (Romans 3:4), because I am the Truth (John 14:6). I am the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8)! You can never do anything so bad that I won't love you (Ephesians 2:4,5), because I am fiercely loyal (1 Corinthians 1:9). I will turn your nights of crying into days of laughter (Psalm 30:5), and I will chase you with beauty and love every day of your life (Psalm 28:6). I'll put a song in your heart that will make you dance for joy (Psalm 30:11, 12)! Then, I will make you strong, give you peace (Psalm 29:11) and set you free from fear (Psalm 34:4).

My heart is full of compassion for you (Romans 9:13), so I will erase your mistakes and give you a fresh start. I won't hold anything against you (Psalm 32:1,2). I will take all of your sins on Myself so you can be free of them (Ephesians 1:7), and I will make you whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7)! I have loved you from the beginning of time and I have an exciting plan for your future (Jeremiah 29:11)! You will discover your real identity when you get to know Me (Ephesians 1:11, 12). Your life with Me will be a great adventure (Romans 8), and you will ride through eternity on My wings (Deuteronomy 32:11)!

Please accept this extravagant gift of life that I am offering you (Romans 5:17-21)! Come to me and you will find that I am gentle and humble (Matthew 11:29). I am merciful, slow to anger and full of grace (Psalm 145:8). My heart beats wildly every time you look in My direction (Solomon 4:9)! Follow Me and I will give you the desire of your heart (Psalm 37:4), because I am passionately in love with you (Psalm 45:11)! Nothing, absolutely nothing can change My love for you (Romans 8:38, 39)! Trust in Me and I will help you (Romans 10:11). I'll welcome you with open arms (Mark 10:16), and I will meet all of your needs (Philippians 4:9). I will love you all day and sing songs to you at night (Psalm 42:8). You man the world to Me and My love for you knows no limits (John 3:16)!

Let Me live in your heart and I'll breathe new live into you (Roman 8:11). Just invite Me in and all of heaven will celebrate (Luke 15:7)! I'll be with you every day of your life (Matthew 28:30), and fill you with hope (Romans 15:13) because you belong to Me! You are Mine (Exodus 19:5)! I gave up what I loved most to win your love (Romans 8:32), and I've waited an eternity for you (Ephesians 1:11)! If you believe in Me, I will save you (Romans 1:16)!

I Am Jesus, the lover of your soul!!!

Converge!!!!

2008-12-11T21:52:00.001-08:00

This is where I was last night!!!

It was fabulous!!!!

I went with 4 other lovely ladies

Me, Susan, Amanda, Becky and Mary

(Cindy we missed you)

from church.

We sang some beautiful Christmas and worship songs,

we heard some wonderful songs from Travis and CeCe!

And then we heard a WORD!!!!

Beth spoke on Luke 1:5-25

Prepare for an Advent in you Life

A fresh visitation from God

A personal advent

A fresh work from the Lord!

She gave us 4 ways to prepare for an Advent:

She said that God rarely just shows up!

He usually gives us signs that He is on His way!

So...

#1 - Be Lookin' for Him!

#2 - Bring our disappointment to the altar.

#3 - Believe to the bone that He heard you!

#4 - Blessed are you when what comes naturally

for others, comes supernaturally to you!

Talking about Zechariah and Elizabeth!

How the were faithful people but had profound disappointment.

What they were missing came so easily to other people.

She talked about Zechariah going into the holy place and praying

for the nation of Israel, but possibly for his wife as well.

And that you are not picked on when God doesn't answer you

like some others get answered, but that you are PICKED OUT!!!

That sometimes your answer will come with a God show!

I'm sure it would make more sense if you had been there,

but it was amazing!

It was so good!

It was so needed!

We were there on purpose!

Thank You, Jesus!!!

Conclusion to Psalms of Ascent

2008-12-09T10:33:00.001-08:00

The study is over!

I am sad!

I usually am when a Bible study is over,

it's like saying good-bye to a good friend.

But all good things must come to an end.

And so we conclude with

Psalm 134

It's a benediction to those who had traveled

so far, the pilgrims who came to Jerusalem

3 different times through the year.

This song is a song of blessing

blessing the Lord

and being blessed by the Lord.

Only 3 little verses

but so powerful.

So worship, bless, acknowledge your God!

And receive blessings from Him that outnumber your blessing.

I'm going to include Beth's blessing to us, because it was so good!!!

"My beloved sister in Christ...

May God keep your heart set on pilgrimage.

May He keep your eyes upon the destination and never let you forget that your Goal is a person, Jesus Christ, and He is waiting for you - in person - at your finish line.

May you always remember what a great cloud of witnesses cheers you on in your journey to Mount Zion and bids you to "Be brave!" The race is not long, Beloved, so run hard!

May your eyes be open to snares your enemy sets in you r path and, should you tumble in the ditch, may your troubled heart be disallowed to condemn you. Jump in the air, twirl around, and buck like a bronco with repentance before your God until not a single speck of mud is left on your feet. Let God wash them in the water of His Word and plant them back on your path.

When we feel heavy-laden in our journeys, may we check first to see if it's the burden of a swollen ego or the load of taking on a role that only belongs to God.

May we lay down what has no place in our packs and run with the wind.

When life is excruciating, may you find the strength in Christ to crawl on your hands and knees, sowing the Word of God and watering it with your tears.

May you never forget that you are inconceivable loved and that God will prove infinitely faithful. And your way to the great feast in the heavenly Jerusalem, may you glance often to your right and to your left and offer a fellow pilgrim a helping hand.

May the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion."

My Psalm 133

2008-12-08T10:51:00.000-08:00

Psalm 133

How good and pleasant and wonderful

it is when believers live in

unity together

It is a precious annointing.

It is a blessing that falls like dew.

And in that unity, the Lord gives

His blessing,

life forever!

What If???

2008-12-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Time of Year!!!

2008-11-21T08:07:00.003-08:00

It is that time of year again that I just love!

THANKSGIVING!!!!

The older I get, I believe the more I love it!

Thinking back throughout my life,

I can honestly say that this has always been

my favorite holiday!

Trying to understand why and pondering on this

has brought several ideas to mind....

* 1 of the only times I see my Iowa family during the year

* it has been a consistent happening in my ever changing life

(really, I can count on both hands the # of times I haven't been in Iowa for Thanksgiving!)

* it is a time of happiness, no stress, no drama... happiness

* I love my Iowa family for so many different reasons

to name a few...

no drama

unconditional love

even though we only see each other once a year,

feels like we see each other daily

laughter! like crying & peeing your pants laughter!!!

playing card games

I just love the Furnes!!!

We leave tomorrow and I can hardly stand it!

I'm so ready!!!!

We will miss a few aunts and uncles this year,

but there will still be a huge clan of Furnes gathered

on Thursday!

I LOVE THANKSGIVING!!!

I hope everyone (the 2 who read this blog)

has a fabulous, memory making Thanksgiving too!

My Psalm 132:11-18

2008-11-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

Psalm 132:11-18

Father GOD, Thank You so much for

hearing

listening

responding

when we call on You.

Thank You for Your promise of a

SAVIOR

ONE

that came long ago

to save

me.

Father, help me to live like You want me to.

Teach me to be more like You.

Show me the things that need to change.

And keep me focused on You.

Father,

Thank You for Your blessings;

make me ever aware of them!

Thank You for never leaving me,

even when I have disobeyed.

Thank You for

ALL

of Your promises to Your children.

Thank You for salvation.

Thank You for sending Jesus, the anointed One.

Father GOD, I will sing and shout for joy

forever because of what

YOU

have done

-amen

My Psalm 132:1-10

2008-11-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Psalm 132:1-10

God, remember me and all the hardships

I have gone through.

Remember, that I have said, no matter

what, I am going to praise Your name.

I'm not going to turn against You!

I'm not going to leave Your side!

I'm not going to follow the other path!

I'm going to forever worship You, LORD!!

I remember when You have held me,

comforted me, lifted my head.

I will come to You altar,

Your footstool,

here on Earth and worship You!

Lord, come and meet me there!

Show up!

Show me Your strength, power and love!

May I be clothed in Your righteousness and

I will shout with joy and dance for You!

Because I AM YOURS!!!

Honor me, LORD, and don't reject me, LORD.

My Psalm 131

2008-11-17T11:52:00.000-08:00

Psalm 131

Lord, help my heart not to be prideful;

help my eyes not to look down on others.

I don't want to do great things, Lord.

What I want is to have peace!

What I want is to be clam and quiet.

What I want is to be like child when he

is with his mother.

What I want is to have THAT peace;

peace of a small child on his mother's lap

being held.

Kari, put your hope in the Lord

now and for eternity.

My Psalm 130

2008-11-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

Lord, out of my depths,

I cry to You,

Yahweh,

I AM WHO I AM.

Adonai

Sovereign God,

please hear my voice.

May Your ears be attentive

to my cry for mercy, help and love.

Father God,

if You kept a record of sins,

who would be able to stand?

BUT

WITH YOU

there is

FORGIVENESS

and because of that,

You are awed and respected.

God,

I wait on You,

LORD,

My soul waits and on

Your word, I put my

HOPE.

I wait on the Lord like someone in

darkness waits for the morning.

I wait like a watchman of a city,

even more so,

I wait.

Kari,

put your hope in the Lord,

because with

HIM

UNFAILING LOVE

and with the

LORD

there is

COMPLETE

100%

FULL

REDEMPTION!

God, Himself will redeem

all of His children

from all of their sins.

My Psalm 129

2008-10-28T09:21:00.001-07:00

Psalm 129

From my youth, the enemy has attacked me.

let me say again,

The enemy has afflicted me ever since I was young.

BUT! HE HAS NOT PREVAILED OVER ME!!!!

I have been down,

people have hurt me,

I have been bound,

BUT! the Lord is righteous and loyal!!!

He has my back,

He has cut the ropes,

He will never leave me!

May those who are against the Lord be put to shame.

Let their plans wither and die before they can come to fruition.

Lord, may Your Sovereignty be recognized and known! Forever!

-Amen

My Psalm 128

2008-10-27T17:36:00.001-07:00

Psalm 128

When you fear, respect the Lord, looking to Him in every matter, you will be blessed.

When you walk on His path, following His ways you will be happy.

Enjoy the goodness and blessings from the Lord when you join Him where He is at work.

Stay connected to the true vine, bearing much fruit on your branch. Remember that you have been chosen and the fruit you were appointed to bear is fruit that will last!

By doing this, respecting God and reflecting His ways, You will be blessed.

May God continue to bless you from Heaven, so that we may enjoy His blessings everyday of your life and that we may see His prosperity to generations to come.

-Amen

One Vote

2008-10-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

This was shown Sunday at church!
So powerful!
Enjoy!

Don't forget to scroll down and turn off the music so you can appreciate this as well.

My Psalm 127

2008-10-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

Psalm 127

Is Christ the foundation of your family?

Is God at work in the work you are doing?

Unless He is, you are working in vain. If God is not at the center of all you do and in your family too, it is meaningless.

You get up early and stay up late, all to get ahead in the game. Stop working so hard against the Lord and go where He is and do what He is doing and rest in Him who loves you.

Your children are a gift from the Lord, your babies a reward from Him.

Your sons are like arrows who will defend, protect and take care of you.
Happy is the parent who has many children.

Thank the Lord for His rewards

Beth Moore's Newest Study!!!

2008-10-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

This isn't even available until mid-November, but I stumbled across this and I WANT TO SIGN UP!!!! I want this study!!!

Don't forget to go down and turn off the music before playing this!

Beth Moore's Esther, Web Promo from LifeWay on Vimeo.

Remember When????

2008-10-22T14:39:00.001-07:00

Do you know who this is???

Since the last post was about so many years ago,

here's another!!!

Think back to junior high and high school. (well at least for my age)

Amy Grant is coming to Houston celebrating her 20 years as an artist.

The commercials have brought back a ton of memories!

Lead Me On

Let Me Say Once More

Stay For Awhile

Father's Eyes

Do you know how many Amy Grant songs I sang for special music through the years???

Let me just say A TON!!!!

Do you know how many tapes and cds of hers I have!

Many!!

I soooooo want to go to this concert!

I won't, but I want to!!!

Amy Grant was one of the first "contemporary" (makes me laugh a little) Christian artists that I listened to! I loved her, well... still do!

I saw her live at a conference 4 years ago! She is so real!

She was shoeless and had her guitar and it was great!!!

So who's up for a concert???!!!

Ouch! I Feel So Old!!!!

2008-10-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

Heard this on the tv today as Kru was getting ready to watch his favorite show, The Backyardigans.

I was like....

25 YEARS!!!?????? Really????

Yes, I guess I was 10 years old when I wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll for my birthday!

And yes, that does mean I'm 35 almost 36!!!

OOOO I FEEL SO OLD!!!!!

I'm almost tempted to buy the cute African American newborn! It's so sweet!!!

You see, when I was 10, I wanted a black baby!

Not a doll mind you, but a real life black baby!

I have always wanted to be a mother!!!!

I'm not sure why, but my parents freaked a little because this white little girl wanted a black baby, so they improvised...

There was a lady who made dolls in our church and they had her make me my very own African American homemade Cabbage Patch looking doll. (I would take a picture of her, but she is up in the attic in some box!) She wasn't a newborn at all, almost weighing 10 pounds, but she was a black baby.

My parents made sure that I knew that this would be the only black baby I ever had!

I'm so embarrassed to even write that!

Because my heart is so not there and has never been there!

I'm not claiming that I'm not prejudice, because I honestly believe that we can not grow up and live in America and not have some prejudice within us. I pray that as the Holy Spirit grows and changes me that that would lessen and that Christ's love would flow through me and out of me!

I love being in a church with families that adopt no matter the color of skin. I love being able to be a part of their families! The picture of adoption and the things that I have learned from these families has been wonderful.

25 years! That seems like an eternity ago!!! ;>)

Powerful Song

2008-10-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

You will need to scroll to the bottom and pause the other music before listening to this!!!

Saying Good-bye to....

2008-10-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

a great pair of pants!!!

Yes, you heard me....

Today, I put on one of my favorite pairs of pants and found that

today would be the last day I would do it.

It really is a sad affair!

But.... the holes that have been worn through

are no longer modest enough to wear out in public!

Seriously!

But you see, I have been wearing these pants for a while now!

My good friend, Mary, gave these fabulous GAP capris to me

3 years ago. They were the first "real" pants that I wore after

having my third child, Kru!

They were snug at first and I wore them probably 1-2 weeks early,

but they were "real" pants and not maternity!!!

After a while, they were a little too big, but I kept wearing them

anyways! They are comfortable, soft, semi-flattering and GAP

for crying-out-loud!!!! So I just pulled the drawstring a little

tighter and have been wearing them ever since!

But I suppose after weekly washings....

(remember, I live in Texas where we wear capris year round)

the time has come to let them go!

They have been good to me!

I will miss them!

It is a sad day!!!

My Psalm 126

2008-10-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

Psalm 126

When the Lord revealed Himself to me

and set this captive free,

it seemed like a dream too good to be true.

My mouth was filled with laughter and song,

My heart was joyful and light.

It was said, "God was wonderful to her!"

God WAS wonderful to me;

I am a happy person.

And now, God, years later, God

do it again-

rain down on my life again

So that which I planted with tears

I may harvest with shouts of

HALLELUJAH joy!

And so others, as well, who have heavy hearts

will have laughter and many blessings.

-Amen

written on 10-20-08

6 Weeks Until Thanksgiving!!!

2008-10-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

"Only 6 weeks until Thanksgiving!" When I heard this on the radio the other day, I was shocked! I couldn't believe it was only 42 days away.

While that may make some go into a frenzy or panic, because we all know what is just around the corner from T-day, it made me smile and it gave me a sense of inner peace, that I needed!

You see, I get to see my family over Thanksgiving!!! It is a once a year event that I look forward to more than I can explain!!!

It is strange here in the south where we really have no change in season, to know we are in Autumn. I forget what time of year it is! So when I heard that the other day, it thrilled my soul.

I love Indian Summer, Autumn, Thanksgiving, the changing leaves, the noise and smell as you walk through the leaves on the ground, raking huge piles of leaves and jumping in them, beautifully trees dressed in reds, bronzes, oranges and yellows!! The nip in the air of chilly Fall days, and I could go on and on..... but I won't... because I love all that so much, but I don't get all of that here in Texas.

But before I begin lamenting my sad tale, I DO get Thanksgiving in Iowa!!! I DO get to go and see my dad's side of the family!!! I DO get to be around people that have known me my entire life, they know me! And they still love me!!! I get to sit at a table with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and play cards! I will spend some special time with just me and my granpa, who I love so much!!! I will laugh so hard with my granma and aunts that we will cry and hopefully not pee our pants! I will be among the many for the group picture!!! And I will relish EVERY second, because they come too far and few between!!!

I have been going to my granma and granpa's house in Iowa since I can remember. I have picture after picture after picture of all of us! When Great-Granpa (Gramps) and Granma (Grammy) came, as we grew in numbers, to us growing up and now having children of our own in the photos! It is a tradition, and 1 of the only traditions that my family has, that matters so much to me!!! There have been years that I wasn't able to make the trip, and they were sadder Thanksgivings! Because NOTHING!!! on Thanksgiving makes me feel the way I feel when I am with my family in Iowa!!! My brother and his wife made the journey last year from DC. That was the first time since mom died that Kory and I were there together! It was grand!!! And they just bought their airplane tickets this week for this year! YAY!!!

NOTHING beats your family! I love them all so much, even if I only get to see the majority of them 1 time a year! They are so precious to me and I hope these next 6 weeks fly!!!

My Psalm 125

2008-10-13T12:48:00.001-07:00

Psalm 125

We who are confident, secure and sure in the Lord

and who trust in Him are like a strong,

unmovable, unshakeable mountain.

And just like the mountains that surround Jerusalem,

our God, the LORD, surrounds us, His people, now and forever.

He hems me in, He camps around me.

Those who are wicked will not rule over us forever,

tempting us to fall into sin.

LORD, be good to those who are good and

whose hearts are honest.

But LORD, when You take away the evil-doers, will You

also remove those who stopped following You.

Let there be peace!

News from My Evacuee Friends

2008-10-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

I have to tell ya right off the bat, I'm a little bummed.

Yesterday, Wanda called! She is one of the friends I met while

she and her family stayed at the shelter.

They were from Beaumont and she told me that they are back

in Beaumont. :( I'm so bummed!

I LOVE these people! I miss little Eric, and Kiera and Aliyeah! (Wanda's grandkids)

They attempted to stay here in the Bryan/College Station area, but it wasn't going well.

The kids had enrolled in school and applications were put out everywhere, but nothin'

was happening. The money that FEMA was going to give them was not going to put

them in a very nice area, so they went home.

They have 5 big trees in their yard, one smashed Morrise's shop!

They had pieces of the roof and ceiling off, so they had to repair that as much

as they could.

Hotels are still full in Beaumont, so they had no other place to go.

Power was on when they returned last Saturday.

While they were gone for almost 3 weeks, vandals had broken into their house

and stolen a lot!

Isn't that awful! Not only have your house in semi-destruction, but to have

things taken as well!!!

Wanda started back to work yesterday and Morrise the day before.

Shawn had found a job and begins Monday and Brittany is still lookin'!

THIS ISN'T OVER!

In fact, people from Galveston Island who were evacuated before Ike hit,

are just returning this weekend from San Antonio where they have been.

They are returning to a tent city that they are referring to Clara Barton Village.

People have to wear masks because of the mold, mildew and nastiness that

is there on the island!

Just today, October 2, everyone except 4700 people got their power back on!

Monday there were still 161,000 people without electricity!

That's a LONG time to be without power!!!

I hope that as time passes and things get back to normal, that I don't forget what

it was like a few weeks ago!

But this I know, I will go and visit Morrise and Wanda one day!

I will see them again!

They are a part of my life now! God brought them into my life, and I thank

Him for that and for them!

A Crouching Tiger!

2008-10-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

"...sin is crouching at your door;

it desires to have you....." Genesis 4:7b

Yesterday was not a good day.

I was upset with one of my children's behavior from the previous night,

and shocked again right after school. It sent me into doubt of his salvation.

My 3 year old was yelling and commanding me all day, to which I was

spanking repeatedly.

As soon as my middle son got home from school, he fought with his 3 yr. old

brother and my mood was bad!

Yes, several times I acted out of anger (which I KNOW I shouldn't, but I did.)

Yes, my mood didn't help the mood of the house!

And yes, I should have snapped out of it before Darrin got home.

My lovely husband, pushed me out the door as soon as supper was over and told

me not to come back until he had all 3 boys in bed.

How nice!

How needed!

I went and got gas, sauntered through a bookstore (that I never can do with kids!)

went and got a Starbucks, stopped and picked up a movie & a few groceries...

All ALONE!

It was great!

But this morning in my quiet time, I really confessed my inappropriate attitude to the Lord.

I don't want to be nasty!

I don't want to get angry!

I WANT to be filled with you, Lord.

I prayed for myself, my boys, our hearts and attitudes.

So I began a new day with His mercies anew!

This morning was one of the best mornings that we have had since school began

6 weeks ago. We were out the door EARLY! even. It was beautiful.

The day was going to get better because I had my 10:00 Bible study to go to.

After dropping the boys off at school, I went home and made my pasta salad for

HOPE group tonight, threw in a load of laundry, fed Kru, checked my email and such...

waiting to leave around 9:45.

Kru and I loaded into the van

and.....

nothing! Actually, there were noises that seriously made me jump!

My dashboard lit up and blinked like it was possessed, but their was nothing turning over!

You see.... here is what I know to be true from experience...

When you really and truly turn something over to the Lord, the enemy, the crouching tiger, isn't going to attempt to get you there any longer, because he knows he can't!

So....does he just stop! ABSOLUTELY NOT! He is crouching at your door 24/7 desiring to have you! So he'll change his angle, his tactics, his method. He will try to get you in a different way!

Praise Jesus that I can see this! And praise Jesus that I didn't give in!

Sure it is obnoxious!

Yes, I was disappointed that I missed Bible study.

No, it is not convenient to only have 1 car (Dakota truck that only seats 3) when I have a family of 5.

BUT.....

Thank God it is the beginning of the month and the money is actually in the bank to cover this!

Thank God we HAVE another vehicle!

Thank God this happened after I took the boys to school.

Thank the Lord, that I didn't allow this circumstance to take away everything that I laid down this morning in my quiet time!

I hate the devil! I hate that he is unrelenting! That he desires to harm me! That he crouches in the shadows of my door to snare me, trap me, kill me!

BUT...

Praise Jesus that HE is more powerful, more wise, and even more unrelenting than the enemy. And I belong to Jesus!!!!

My Psalm 124

2008-09-30T10:15:00.001-07:00

Psalm 124

If the Lord had not been for me,

let me say it again.

If the Lord had not been for me,

when I was attacked & threatened,

When hurt and agony were thrown at me,

the enemy would have swallowed me alive.

The ocean would have engulfed me,

I would have drowned in the torrent.

I would have lost my life

in the raging, fuming rapids.

BUT! Praise the Lord!

He didn't go off and leave me!

He didn't leave me there, abandoned,

defenseless, or helpless like a rabbit in a pack of snarling dogs.

I escaped, flying free like a bird from a hunter's trap

that was broken and I escaped!

My help is in the name of the Lord,

Who is the Maker of heaven and earth.

-Amen

written September 30, '08

My Psalm 123

2008-09-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

Psalm 123

I lift my eyes to You, Lord, with longing,

to the One who is enthroned in heaven.

Just like servants whose eyes are

on their master, and like a servant girl's

eyes are on her mistress, so are my eyes

on the Lord, my God, until He shows me

mercy, loving-kindness, mercy and grace.

Grace me, O Lord, Grace me!

For I am overwhelmed with

disrespect and contempt.

I have had more than enough disrespect

from prideful and arrogant people.

-Amen

written on September 29, '08

My Person

2008-09-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

I must confess, I am a GREY'S watcher!

It's true!

I am hooked!!!

I wasn't going to watch this season, but I am!

The more I watch, the more I look at it and think,

Meredith needs Jesus!

But then, I guess it wouldn't be a hit TV show then

because there would be no drama!

I just watched the premiere last night.

Meredith and Christina have been friends for a long time.

They know one another very well, dark well, if you know what I mean.

They are each other's person!

In the premiere, Meredith NEEDED to know what

Christina thought, what she said mattered and was

super important to Meredith.

The whole time I thought, "How often do I do that?"

Make what someone else thinks more important than

the Spirit living inside of me, who IS telling me what HE

thinks!!! Too often, but I pray less and less!

The deal is friends are important! I value my friendships!

I miss my friends who I no longer live near.

I cherish the new friendships I have made here in Texas over

the past 3 years!

BUT..... friends will NEVER take the place of the Lord in our lives!

There is a place for them, but NOT in the place that is for the Lord.

When I begin to make them more important than the Lord,

I am going to have some issues!

When I value their opinion more than the Lord's,

I'm going to have some MAJOR issues!!!

Oh, if only I knew this many years ago, heartache, mistakes

and errors would have been saved.

Yet, I know that that is how we grow!

I'm not the same as I was when I got saved and

God is forever changing me, growing me

to be more and more like Jesus!

Thank You, Jesus!!!

I pray that I would always look to the Lord for advice,

love, healing, appreciation & most importantly salvation!!!

Jesus IS my person!!!

My Psalm 122

2008-09-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

Psalm 122

I am thrilled and excited whenever I have a chance

to go to church - the house of the Lord - Living Hope.

My feet are planted here in College Station, a

closely knit community.

In this city, many believers of the Lord, come together

to praise the name of the Lord, following the Gospel

at Living Hope.

There I find the Lord, full of love, grace, compassion,

mercy, hope and conviction.

We need to pray for the peace of College Station:

May everyone you know and love you be secure.

May there be peace within our city limits and

security and safety within our buildings.

For the sake of my family and friends, I will say,

"Peace be within you."

For the sake of Living Hope - the house of the Lord our God,

I will seek for what is best for you.

-Amen

written 9-26-08

Road to Recovery - Hurricane Ike

2008-09-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a post that I did on my other blog, but thought it fitting to bring it over here as well.

This was written originally on the 16th. Little did I know that within 24 hours, our shelter would be shut down and my new friends gone.

And the road to recovery begins....

Our church has been a shelter since Friday at 5:00. We are an official Red Cross shelter and currently we have 151 people still at the church.

I have had the honor of serving at the church ALOT over the pass few days. The boys have come off and on with me as well. Dakota and Kye helped prepare for the evacuees by unloading cots and setting up bedding. Weekend services were canceled so that we could get ready.

I really have lost count of my days and can't remember what day exactly, but we went from 13 to 90 in 2 1/2 hours on Saturday and then from 90 -175 in another 2 hours.

I can not tell you how blessed I have been these past 5 days. I have met precious people who I will hold in my heart forever, played with sweet children, watched as a little girl's eyes came alive when she received a brand new jacket, and I could go on and on!!!

Our guests are far from home.

Many have lost everything.

Many don't know when they will get to go home

and what will be there when they arrive.

And yet...

they are so kind,

friendly,

appreciative,

amazing.

It has made me stop and look at me.....

would I be acting like this if I were in their shoes?

would I be friendly?

would I be able to smile?

would I be thankful or complaining?

I have been up at church ALOT like I said, and even now as I type this my eyes are swimming in tears, because I can't explain, but I feel compelled to be up at the church. I love our guests. I want to be there serving and helping ANY way I can!!

To hold Braylen!

To get some clothes for Maurice and Wanda.

To receive a bear hug from Christopher!

To hold a sweet Spanish speaking little girl who doesn't know where mama is.

Drive to The Med so Red Cross Randy knows where he is going.

To get to love on and hug these precious children of God.

To rejoice when 2 come to know the Lord at 3:00 AM.

I have been blessed.

Overcome with emotion.

Thankful for all that I have.

We are still days away from being done. Who knows right now when all of our guests can go home or to a shelter closer to home? But I'm honored and thankful to be apart of Living Hope and that I have been able to volunteer.

Lessons from Ike - Intro

2008-09-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

I have thought often about starting a blog for myself. One that I could write about whatever I had on my heart. But I already had a blog so I really didn't need another one! So even though my blog was supposed to be about my 3 boys, I would take occasional liberty to write about some of mu musings that I had.

Well, then 2 weeks ago, Hurricane Ike came to Texas. For almost 1 week my life was completely consumed with it. Our church was a Red Cross shelter that officially opened on that Friday, Sept. 12th, when the storm was to hit the coast. We didn't get too busy until Saturday and eventually had 175 people staying there.

I spent the good part of my weekend at church helping and then into the next week as well. We were officially shut down on Wed. the 16th. I got to know some of our guests well, the Lord just drew me to some and after all of that.... I didn't know what to do.

The Lord was at work in me and I needed to process. I needed to get it outside of myself for myself. After posting a few posts about Ike on the boys' blog, I decided it WAS time for me to begin one for myself. I'm not even sure if I'm going to give this address out much. I really just want to write this down and blogging seems to be the easiest way to do it and I can add some great videos, music and whatever else I decide to put on this!

So the next few posts are going to be about lessons that the Lord has taught me through Ike and working with my new friends at the shelter. It's going to me processing this supernatural experience that I had 2 weeks ago, especially before I forget what I saw, felt, smelled, touched, experienced.

There was a purpose to it all. I don't know fully exactly what, but I know the Lord had me there for reasons that some He has revealed to me and others will be revealed when its His timing! All I know is that I'm not the same as I was 2 weeks ago and I don't ever want to be the same again.

I want to be different.

I want to be transformed.

Used.

Changed!

For His glory!!

Here is another post on another blog from a Houstonian who doesn't want to be the same either and to learn through this ordeal, but not only learn, be changed forever!

Card Board Testimonies!

2008-09-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Go down and turn off the music to hear this!

My Alliteration Psalm

2008-09-23T12:09:00.001-07:00

Shout and sing praises to our

Sovereign Saviour who

Shepherds and saves His sheep.

written 9-23-08

My Psalm 121

2008-09-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

Psalm 121

I lift my eyes up to the hills

and I know where my help comes from.

My help comes from my Lord, who is

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let me fall because He

always knows where I am because

He never sleeps.

He watches over me all the time

because He never closes His eyes.

My God protects me; He is my covering

that wraps around me like feathers on a wing.

My Lord keeps me from all harm;

sun, moon, evil, Hell - everything!

He guards, protects, watches over my life!

My Lord knows about and watches over me

wherever I go ALL THE TIME, now and

Forever and ever!

-Amen

written on 9-22-08

My Psalm 120

2008-09-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

Psalm 120

Lord, I call out to You in my worry

and I know that You hear me.

Save me Lord, from those who hate You

or are being stubborn against You.

What will the Lord do to you, you

who stay hardened?

Your only reward will be one of

burning forever and ever.

Woe to me that I dwell here and

live among the tents on an unbeliever.

I have lived here a long time with those

who hate peace, hope, faith and love.

I am for Christ, for peace, for hope, for faith,

for love; but the more I am for You, Lord,

the more He turns against You!

-Amen

written 9-18-08

Revelation

2008-09-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

Scroll down and pause the music to hear this wonderful praise song!