So Much to Say and Update, but a MUST right now!

I have been struggling with change in my church family!

For awhile!

Some weekends are ok, but others are not so ok!

It's me!

I KNOW!!!

But my flesh has been pretty stubborn lately!

And of course, like in all things, I want to run away!

Maybe it's the fact that I know we aren't leaving College Station

anytime soon, so church is the one thing I can "leave" and still remain in this town.

I rationalize my thoughts about finding a new body.

I convince myself that I'm justified in my feelings!

But then a friend who loves me more to tell me the truth than to be afraid of my reaction speaks truth to me!

I know she is telling me the truth,

but dangit!

Either because of my current sin or my past

I ask God

please confirm this AGAIN!

I know, I know!!!

I'm hard headed!

stupid

stubborn

And whew!

He did!

Of course

He did!

Church isn't about me!

I know that!

It's not about my boys!

i....k..n..o..w....th...at.....?

My God, is big enough!

My God will capture their hearts in HIS TIMING!!!!

In HIS WAY!

HE WILL CAPTURE THEM!!!!

Not a church,

not a program,

not a person!

This may not make sense for the 2 or 3 of you who actually read this,

but I had to get it out of myself!

Still need to process!

ALWAYS! need to pray!

Every Sunday, need to be humble and ready for GOD!!!!

not the sermon...

not the music...

not the program...

not the friends...

BUT...

HIM!

It's ALWAYS ABOUT HIM!!!

Thank You, Jesus for reminding me of that this morning!

And thank You for whopping me upside the head!

and thank You for being so patient with this stupid, but wanting so much to be in Your Will, child!

I do love You so much!