HIS Grace!!!

"My grace is sufficient for you."

2 Corinthians 12:9

(From Deserts in the Storm)

The other day I was riding home after a hard day's work. I was very tired and deeply depressed, when quickly, and as suddenly as a lightning bolt, the above verse came to me. When I arrived home I looked it up in the Word and it finally came to me. MY. My reponse was to say, "Yes Lord, I should think it is!" Then I burst out laughing.

Until that time, I had never understood what the holy laughter of Abraham was. This verse seemed to make unbelief totally absurd. I pictured a thirsty little fish who was concerned about drinking the river dry, with Father River saying, "Drink away, little fish; my stream is sufficient for you." I also envisioned a mouse afraid of starving after seven years of plenty, when Joseph says to him, "Cheer up little mouse; my granaries are sufficient for you." Again, I imagined a man high on a mountain peak, saying to himself, "I breathe so many cubic feet of air every year, I am afraid I will deplete all the oxygen in the atmosphere." But the earth says to him, "Breathe away, filling your lungs forever; my atmosphere is sufficient for you."

O people of God, be great believers! Little faith will bring your souls to heaven, but great faith will bring heaven to your souls. Charles H. Spurgeon

His grace is great enough to meet the great things-

The crashing waves that overwhelm the soul,

The roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless,

The sudden storms beyond our life's control.

His grace is great enough to meet the small things-

The little pinprick troubles that annoy,

The insect worries, buzzing and persistent,

The squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.

-Annie Johnson Flint

There is always a large balance credited to our account in the bank of Heaven. It is waiting for us to exercise our faith to draw upon it. Draw heavily on God's resources.

Lord this is my prayer for myself and my family and friends! Find us faithful!!!!

Uh..Duh...He Has Answered!!!!!

Have you ever prayed a prayer and waited for some time for an answer?

Have you ever asked for something from God?

I have...

I do....

The other morning I had a "aha" moment, but really it is like a "duh" moment.

If you (the few who read this) don't know my story this may not make sense to you, but my husband and I have moved around the country ALOT!!!!

Finally, after what we thought would be our last move, we were done with the whole lets pick up and move thing!

We wanted to put down roots.

We wanted our kids to grow up with other kids.

We wanted consistency for ourselves but our children as well.

This is what we wanted and what I prayed for...not in those words exactly, but that is what I asked God for.

A place that we could call home for more than 24 months.

A place where my children would feel secure and constant.

Those kinds of things.

One morning this week after I dropped Kru off at pre-school, the Lord revealed to me that He has answered all of those petitions.

Kru is the same age that Kye was when we moved here.

Kru is attending the same pre-school that Kye went to a few years ago.

They know us...

We know them...

As I was driving away, it hit me....

GOD DID ANSWER!

HE has provided consistency.

HE has given us a home/town/community that has been constant for almost 5 years now.

Was it how I thought He would answer?

No.

Where I thought it would be?

No.

I asked Him for forgiveness right then.

Sorry Lord for not seeing all You do for me, just cause they don't look like I think they should.

God has His reasons!

His timing!

His purposes!

His ways!

Apparently for this season that means Texas for this mid-west girl!

So instead of trying to get out of Dodge.....

Lord, thank You for answering!

For giving my children stability!

For providing a job for my husband that is stable.

For giving us a community that knows us and that we know!

Why am I so quick to not see when things don't go the way I think they should go?

Thank You, Jesus, for revealing to me that You have answered!

You are good!

You are constant!

You are amazing!

I love you!!!!

HIS PRESENCE!!!!

I'm doing a FABULOUS Bible study this semester that I could not do without, for sure!

Today we were talking about God's Presence! WOW! It was so good and powerful! I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW, I NEVER want to be without His Presence!!!

Making so many life applications, I could go on and on, but I won't.

One thing that really resonated with me is that God made us to be relational for sure!!! But He made us for the most relationship we have is one with Him!!!

What was presented was the God created everyone with a "with" need and with a "significance" need. Can you raise your hand if you agree?! I know I have both of these and I know when I have looked to satisfy those needs in the wrong places or people. An idea that was tossed out was when I confuse me "with" need with trying to fill it with other people instead of filling that "with" need with GOD, HIMSELF, it's idolatry.

Are friends idols?

Not all of them!

Can they be?

Yes!

When I make them more important than God....Yes!

Text after text, the teacher showed us in Old Testament and New several verses telling us God is with us!! Over and over, it gave me goosebumps! And ending by saying that WITH out God, we can do nothing!

I have struggled with friends and friendship from my arrival here in College Station going on 4 years now. I have begged the Lord for friends, praised Him for friends (near and far), questioned Him why friendships end or change, but today, in His goodness and glory, wasn't He all along protecting me from falling back into idolatrous relationships? Wasn't He teaching me and showing me that the relationship with Him is the only one I truly need? Is it that I just haven't been listening?

I don't think that 1 answer, answers all of those questions or situations, but man oh man! I know it does for some!

God is so good and loves me and you that He doesn't let anything get in HIS WAY...

what am I letting get in my (silly 'lil me) way???

God says.... BE PRESENT WITH ME, (fill in the blank with your name) kari, and I WILL BE PRESENT WITH YOU!!!!!

Whether you realize it or not, there is NOTHING like the Presence of God in your life!!!!

Lord, may I never want anything more than I want You and Your Presence with me!!! -Amen

What a Wonderful Wednesday!

Wednesday was the first day of my women's fall Bible study.

I love the beginning of a study.

My book smells new...

I have my new pen, new hi-lighter, and felt-tipped pen ready for action.

I meet new friends and see old friends that I haven't seen since spring.

I anticipate all that God is going to teach me through the new study.

I tear-up as I open in prayer, because I KNOW that God is going to show up!

He's going to grow me

stretch me,

retrain me,

change me!

HALLELUJAH!!!

Bring it on!!!

In 1 hour's time...

I learn something new!

I hear something old that becomes afresh!

I look forward to this week's homework.

I look forward to meeting Christ on the pages of this study.

Of seeing what His Word has to say about my heart

and what it mean's to make it a dwelling place for HIM!

Wednesday afternoons are precious to me.

Sacred.

A MUST!

Thank You, Jesus for speaking through Your Word and through Bible study teachers.

Help me to be obedient to what it is that You will call me to this semester!

I love You!

Disturb us, Lord!

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]

So Much to Say and Update, but a MUST right now!

I have been struggling with change in my church family!

For awhile!

Some weekends are ok, but others are not so ok!

It's me!

I KNOW!!!

But my flesh has been pretty stubborn lately!

And of course, like in all things, I want to run away!

Maybe it's the fact that I know we aren't leaving College Station

anytime soon, so church is the one thing I can "leave" and still remain in this town.

I rationalize my thoughts about finding a new body.

I convince myself that I'm justified in my feelings!

But then a friend who loves me more to tell me the truth than to be afraid of my reaction speaks truth to me!

I know she is telling me the truth,

but dangit!

Either because of my current sin or my past

I ask God

please confirm this AGAIN!

I know, I know!!!

I'm hard headed!

stupid

stubborn

And whew!

He did!

Of course

He did!

Church isn't about me!

I know that!

It's not about my boys!

i....k..n..o..w....th...at.....?

My God, is big enough!

My God will capture their hearts in HIS TIMING!!!!

In HIS WAY!

HE WILL CAPTURE THEM!!!!

Not a church,

not a program,

not a person!

This may not make sense for the 2 or 3 of you who actually read this,

but I had to get it out of myself!

Still need to process!

ALWAYS! need to pray!

Every Sunday, need to be humble and ready for GOD!!!!

not the sermon...

not the music...

not the program...

not the friends...

BUT...

HIM!

It's ALWAYS ABOUT HIM!!!

Thank You, Jesus for reminding me of that this morning!

And thank You for whopping me upside the head!

and thank You for being so patient with this stupid, but wanting so much to be in Your Will, child!

I do love You so much!

Things that Make You Go Hmmmm........

How is it that some days are like this...=>

and other days are like this...

<=

??????????????????????

Seriously!

What is it that really makes the difference?

My quiet time with God?

Yes, that is important!

My heart?

Also, very important!

What time my children went to bed the night before?

What time I went to bed the night before?

I believe all of those things and more affect my day.

But I really think I need to take notes of what specifically happens on "good" days.

Today was a "good" day.

Can't put my finger on 1 specific thing that made it a good one, but it makes me pray and hope tomorrow will be another one!

It did help that the weather was so beautiful!

Warm with a nice breeze - Spring!

It also helped that Kru and I could take an hour or so and go to the park and swing!

It also helped that I was very aware of being present in the moment!

I didn't spend as much time on the computer!

I spoke in a gentle yet firm (when needed) voice.

I sometimes like to ignore how much I affect my home, my husband, my children!  

But, if I'm wanting to be the woman God created me to be, I can NOT ignore that!

"Let the words of my mouth 

and the meditations of my heart 

be acceptable in Thy sight, 

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14

I must, need, have to be aware of what I am saying, thinking, meditating on!  And it MUST be the Lord and pleasing Him and being obedient to Him.

I am so selfish and get so caught up in making sure I'm taken care of!  That is sin!!!

So....

I must seek Jesus daily, hour to hour, moment to moment if need be, to be the woman He created me to be!  The woman that He put here in this place for this moment.  And to really there!  Awake!  Involved!

I never did post my scripture memory verse for the beginning of April, but it goes well with this post.

It was Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction."

Where to Begin???

Today was the first day of Bible study in a new semester!  All I can say is WOW!!!  Look out!!!  Beth Moore's newest study is this one!  She filled it last year and it became available for purchase in November '08.

From the moment the video begins, from intros and exits filled on location in Washington DC in front of the White House, this study it so pivotal & poignant "FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS"!  She had no idea who was going to be inaugurated yesterday, or who the Secretary of State would be a year ago, and everything she said was so perfect for what is going on today.  Amazing!  God is perfect and so is His timing!

I can't wait to see what He is going to reveal to me through this study!  I believe with all my heart that there is big stuff ahead for me to learn and change!  I know that God has something important for me to learn about my destiny through this study!  I also know that God is going to do something new through this study too!

For a while now, I have been feeling not quite sure what God was doing.  The direction that He had last told me to go suddenly got blocked.  A little confused, but understanding that this was His thing, I assumed that He had something else for me to do instead.  Still don't know what that is, but I know I will when He is ready for me to know!

The times I remember feeling this way and being in this place have always resulted in major life changes, not like moving or even changing jobs (although that has happened once before), I'm talking about dealing with my stuff, freeing me, teaching me something new, showing Himself to me in a different way.

So....  I'm full of anxious anticipation, hope, in what God is going to reveal, teach, show, change, grow me!  I will try to write about it, but who knows now, we will have to wait and see!  So.... here we go, into the book of Esther, that doesn't use the name of God once, but as Beth said, "He is all over it, because it is His Word!"

A Crouching Tiger!

"...sin is crouching at your door;

it desires to have you....."  Genesis 4:7b

Yesterday was not a good day.

I was upset with one of my children's behavior from the previous night,

and shocked again right after school.  It sent me into doubt of his salvation.

My 3 year old was yelling and commanding me all day, to which I was

spanking repeatedly.

As soon as my middle son got home from school, he fought with his 3 yr. old 

brother and my mood was bad!

Yes, several times I acted out of anger (which I KNOW I shouldn't, but I did.)

Yes, my mood didn't help the mood of the house!

And yes, I should have snapped out of it before Darrin got home.

My lovely husband, pushed me out the door as soon as supper was over and told

me not to come back until he had all 3 boys in bed.  

How nice!

How needed!

I went and got gas, sauntered through a bookstore (that I never can do with kids!)

went and got a Starbucks, stopped and picked up a movie & a few groceries...

All ALONE!

It was great!

But this morning in my quiet time, I really confessed my inappropriate attitude to the Lord.

I don't want to be nasty!

I don't want to get angry!

I WANT to be filled with you, Lord.

I prayed for myself, my boys, our hearts and attitudes.

So I began a new day with His mercies anew!  

This morning was one of the best mornings that we have had since school began 

6 weeks ago.  We were out the door EARLY! even.  It was beautiful.

The day was going to get better because I had my 10:00 Bible study to go to.

After dropping the boys off at school, I went home and made my pasta salad for

HOPE group tonight, threw in a load of laundry, fed Kru, checked my email and such...

waiting to leave around 9:45.

Kru and I loaded into the van 

and.....

nothing!  Actually, there were noises that seriously made me jump!

My dashboard lit up and blinked like it was possessed, but their was nothing turning over!

You see....  here is what I know to be true from experience...

When you really and truly turn something over to the Lord, the enemy, the crouching tiger,  isn't going to attempt to get you there any longer, because he knows he can't!

So....does he just stop!  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  He is crouching at your door 24/7 desiring to have you!  So he'll change his angle, his tactics, his method.  He will try to get you in a different way!

Praise Jesus that I can see this!  And praise Jesus that I didn't give in!

Sure it is obnoxious!

Yes, I was disappointed that I missed Bible study.

No, it is not convenient to only have 1 car (Dakota truck that only seats 3) when I have a family of 5.

BUT.....

Thank God it is the beginning of the month and the money is actually in the bank to cover this!

Thank God we HAVE another vehicle!

Thank God this happened after I took the boys to school.

Thank the Lord, that I didn't allow this circumstance to take away everything that I laid down this morning in my quiet time!

I hate the devil!  I hate that he is unrelenting!  That he desires to harm me!  That he crouches in the shadows of my door to snare me, trap me, kill me!

BUT...

Praise Jesus that HE is more powerful, more wise, and even more unrelenting than the enemy.  And I belong to Jesus!!!!

My Person

I must confess, I am a GREY'S watcher!

It's true!  

I am hooked!!!

I wasn't going to watch this season, but I am!

The more I watch, the more I look at it and think, 

Meredith needs Jesus!

But then, I guess it wouldn't be a hit TV show then 

because there would be no drama!

I just watched the premiere last night.

Meredith and Christina have been friends for a long time.

They know one another very well, dark well, if you know what I mean.

They are each other's person!

In the premiere, Meredith NEEDED to know what

Christina thought, what she said mattered and was

super important to Meredith.

The whole time I thought, "How often do I do that?"

Make what someone else thinks more important than

the Spirit living inside of me, who IS telling me what HE

thinks!!!  Too often, but I pray less and less!

The deal is friends are important!  I value my friendships!  

I miss my friends who I no longer live near.  

I cherish the new friendships I have made here in Texas over

the past 3 years!

BUT.....  friends will NEVER take the place of the Lord in our lives!  

There is a place for them, but NOT in the place that is for the Lord.  

When I begin to make them more important than the Lord, 

I am going to have some issues!

When I value their opinion more than the Lord's,

 I'm going to have some MAJOR issues!!!

Oh, if only I knew this many years ago, heartache, mistakes 

and errors would have been saved.

Yet, I know that that is how we grow!  

I'm not the same as I was when I got saved and 

God is forever changing me, growing me 

to be more and more like Jesus!

Thank You, Jesus!!!

I pray that I would always look to the Lord for advice, 

love, healing, appreciation & most importantly salvation!!!

Jesus IS my person!!!

Lessons from Ike - Intro

I have thought often about starting a blog for myself.  One that I could write about whatever I had on my heart.  But I already had a blog so I really didn't need another one!  So even though my blog was supposed to be about my 3 boys, I would take occasional liberty to write about some of mu musings that I had.

Well, then 2 weeks ago, Hurricane Ike came to Texas.  For almost 1 week my life was completely consumed with it.  Our church was a Red Cross shelter that officially opened on that Friday, Sept. 12th,  when the storm was to hit the coast.  We didn't get too busy until Saturday and eventually had 175 people staying there.

I spent the good part of my weekend at church helping and then into the next week as well.  We were officially shut down on Wed. the 16th.  I got to know some of our guests well, the Lord just drew me to some and after all of that....  I didn't know what to do.

The Lord was at work in me and I needed to process.  I needed to get it outside of myself for myself.  After posting a few posts about Ike on the boys' blog, I decided it WAS time for me to begin one for myself.  I'm not even sure if I'm going to give this address out much.  I really just want to write this down and blogging seems to be the easiest way to do it and I can add some great videos, music and whatever else I decide to put on this!

So the next few posts are going to be about lessons that the Lord has taught me through Ike and working with my new friends at the shelter.  It's going to me processing this supernatural experience that I had 2 weeks ago, especially before I forget what I saw, felt, smelled, touched, experienced.

There was a purpose to it all.  I don't know fully exactly what, but I know the Lord had me there for reasons that some He has revealed to me and others will be revealed when its His timing!  All I know is that I'm not the same as I was 2 weeks ago and I don't ever want to be the same again.  

I want to be different.

I want to be transformed.

Used.

Changed!

For His glory!!

Here is another post on another blog from a Houstonian who doesn't want to be the same either and to learn through this ordeal, but not only learn, be changed forever!