Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Not Even Sure What the Title Should Be

Just like I have no idea what the title should be to this post, I really have no idea what to say, or really how to begin.

My dad informed me today that he has prostate cancer...the dreaded 'C' word.  Think it should be considered a four-letter word, personally.  I HATE that word.  I HATE the fear it can lay hold of you.  I HATE the oppression it brings you.  I HATE that awhile ago I thought that it could raise its nasty head in my personal life, thankfully it did not, but now it again has come into my circle and into my life.

My father is fine and calm and his usual technical self.  Apparently, it has been caught very early and that some level was not extremely high.  Supposedly, catching it at this stage, men don't die from this and that it is rare that it will spread.  With that said, I'm not quite sure what to say or feel.  I usually tend to go into "Furne" mode and deny, ignore or bury anything that I may be tempted to feel.  Psycho, I know!

So, 20 years after losing my mom, here comes this dirty, nasty word again.  Not sure how it would feel to not have parents anymore.  And it's also different this time with my kids.  It's not just dad but papa too.