Monday, June 18, 2012

Silent Tears

A 12 year old!

Today is Rayin's birthday!  I sometimes think that I'll forget that it was this day back in 2000, and some years I don't forget, it is just easier.  This year however, I have remembered more than usual.  I think it's because I have been talking about her more often with friends, sharing her story more than I have in a while.  My 2 youngest have been telling their friends that they had a sister who died in mommy's tummy.

She is in a better place! And my  mom is with her, which makes it a little better, but it's my selfish side that wishes she was here with me. Going and getting pedicures together, hearing about boys, girl drama, doing her hair... I wonder what it would be like to have a little girl?!

I find silent tears falling on my cheeks this morning...

I find no questions of why...

Just silent tears