Monday, June 18, 2012

Silent Tears

A 12 year old!

Today is Rayin's birthday!  I sometimes think that I'll forget that it was this day back in 2000, and some years I don't forget, it is just easier.  This year however, I have remembered more than usual.  I think it's because I have been talking about her more often with friends, sharing her story more than I have in a while.  My 2 youngest have been telling their friends that they had a sister who died in mommy's tummy.

She is in a better place! And my  mom is with her, which makes it a little better, but it's my selfish side that wishes she was here with me. Going and getting pedicures together, hearing about boys, girl drama, doing her hair... I wonder what it would be like to have a little girl?!

I find silent tears falling on my cheeks this morning...

I find no questions of why...

Just silent tears


3 comments:

Terri Sundseth said...

I love you, my sweet friend. I can't believe it's been 12 years. Sending BIG LOVE to you, today and always!

Kari said...

ah terri, i love you too! wish we lived closer! i'll never forget how sweet and thoughtful you and sue were!! think of you often!

Anonymous said...

Hi Terri - I just came across you blog tonight. I found it in a very unexpected way, which in my heart usually means that it was the Spirit leading me. :) I just want to say my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know many moms who have tiny angels, and my heart goes out to you. Traveling the journey you have is not easy. She will always be with you in spirit. I don't know if you are on fb but we have a beautiful private group for angel moms. Many of the moms are from BCS. I'd love for you to be a part of it. Our organization is actually local to College Station. We have an beautiful balloon release for angels in October and a family picnic. I'd love to you guys to join us this year. If your interested in any of this please email me at amber@preemieprints.org. Again, I really just happened upon your blog while researching schools for my twin girls. They are only two so I'm really getting ahead of myself. :D :D Many, many prayers & blessings to you. You sound like an amazing mother and person. ~Amber