Monday, June 20, 2011

11 This Past Weekend

Rayin Wynter Ann Stephens

This past weekend, my daughter, Rayin, would have been 11.
It's hard for me to imagine an 11 year old daughter, seeing as I
have 3 boys, only 1 who has been 11.

I'd like to think that we would have gone and gotten
manis and pedis and maybe a coffee too! Went to
the mall and bought a new outfit plus accessories too!

Actually, I have no idea. Sometimes I think of it more than others.
This year was better than some, but of course I still thought of her.

It's funny....I think I'm the only one.
Well maybe funny isn't the right word.
Sad I guess.
Many people don't even know that
I should have a daughter.
It's really not a conversation piece that is brought up much
and definitely a downer to bring up.

I have grown much in these 11 years, but I still have
no answers!
Sometimes I believe that that is the hardest part of
Rayin's death...not knowing why.
But I don't dwell on this
or else I would go crazy!

Instead, I choose to believe and know that
God is good
God is love
He knows more than I do
He loves me
she is in a much better place
and I will see her again one day.

Until then, I want to remember her and
wonder what it would be like to have
an 11 year old daughter,
even if I'm the only one!

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